Friday, May 20, 2016
Interview With Author Lou Bishop
Lyah! Lyah! Pants on Fyah!
1. What inspired you to write your book?
One in four girls, reportedly, are impacted by child sexual abuse. These stats are representative only of those incidences that have been reported.
This type of abuse is kept secret while the family behaves as though ‘nothing happened.’ All the while, the victim is blamed, and shamed, and made to feel as though she is at fault. She is made to feel as though she is worthless. At best, she is told to move on or put it behind her. The victim is often unaware that she has suffered a soul wound. Myriad poor life choices and decisions are made based on this festering wounded-ness, including choosing inappropriate life partners who further abuse her emotionally, physically and even sexually. Once she has children of her own, the woman further models codependent behavior to her children. Because the victim does not link low self-esteem, toxic shame and self-hate to the initial childhood sexual abuse, she continually makes inappropriate life choices despite appearing to be a social and career rock star.
And so the cycle begins…
I determined that there was a need for a sacred place where honest conversations could be had, so I developed healing workshops that have impacted numerous women over the years. It is as a result of these workshops that I stumbled upon the idea of writing a book. Yes. This is how the book was birthed.
2. What is it about?
LYAH! LYAH! PANTS ON FYAH! shares stories of survivors, including myself, and demonstrates, in harrowing detail at times, the far-reaching impact these heinous acts have on women’s self-esteem. In many cases, the impact is inter-generational.
The first couple of chapters of my book introduce the complex subject of toxic shame by sharing the stories of several child sexual abuse survivors. It’s the actual telling of the story that initiates healing. The middle portion shares some of the tools that I’ve used, and continue to use, for sacred healing. The third section of the book delineates the lies that women unconsciously subscribe to, that inhibit their ability to live life to the fullest, hence the name, LYAH! LYAH! PANTS ON FYAH!
Here are five key messages or talking points:
1. My history is not my destiny.
2. I am Born to Thrive.
3. Yep. I did it and so can you.
4. I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.
5. I am the master of my fate.
3. What do you hope will be the everlasting thoughts for readers who finish your book?
I hope that the reader comes away with the importance of the family unit and its impact on mental health and self-esteem. We need to value our most precious commodity – children – girls and boys. Treat them as the wonderful gifts that they are. Nurture and respect them within the family unit and build healthy self-esteem. This will ensure a better tomorrow. Lyah! Lyah! Pants on Fyah! is a just a teeny drop in the ocean towards soul healing. I say, “Let the healing begin.”
4. What advice do you have for writers?
My advice would be that it is important to create what I call a writing space/place and pencil in a definite time for writing in order for the words to flow. I think that this coaxes the brain and stimulates the creative juices, since life can derail the writing process– at times. It is important to prepare for moments when writing seems arduous and develop the coping skills necessary for that reality.
Keep a notepad or recording device at your bedside for the elusive, magical ideas that float about, at around 2 a.m. Take a break, if necessary, but not for too long. Meditate, relax, pray and focus on the task at hand.
And, of course, build a network of supportive friends and loved ones who can cheer you on when you feel defeated.
Research whom you wish your publisher to be carefully, or self-publish. But don’t obsess on the publishing aspect until after you have written the book, otherwise, this may stump your ability to complete the book or scare you to death. And be prepared to spend a little more money that you planned for a good publisher, for sure.
5. Where do you think the book publishing industry is heading?
I am no expert but it seems to me that there has never been a better time for indie ebook authors, like myself, to publish. Self-publishing has definitely taken on a new meaning. Never in history have so many tools been available for self-publishing.
6. What challenges did you have in writing your book?
Personally, my biggest challenge was gaining momentum on the project. Life happens, you know! There were days and weeks where I lost my mojo, so to speak. I had to drag myself to the laptop and soldier on. All in all, it has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.
7. If people can only buy one book this month, why should it be yours?
I am painfully aware that the issues of women’s and children’s rights, especially girls, are controversial topics. I also know that for some, this subject matter is not only taboo, but painful to read. Lyah! Lyah! Pants on Fyah! is meant to be a prelude to the conversation on healing and toxic shame.
Lyah! Lyah! Pants on Fyah! may be different, in that, it presents stories from women, other than myself, thus allowing the reader to grasp the depth and breadth of the impact of child sexual abuse. At least, that’s my hope.
The chapters about lies can be very empowering for every woman and certainly for all victims of child sexual abuse. If the stats are correct, and I believe that they are, many husbands, brothers, grandfathers and uncles need to be exposed to how deeply wounded women in their lives may be. In fact, men may find healing for themselves. This book may shed light on some negative mannerisms and behaviors and bring a level of compassion to how men and women relate to each other. Awareness, compassion, and conversation can go a long way toward healing families and communities.
Most importantly, the tools presented in the book are applicable towards spiritual healing, regardless of whether the reader has survived child sexual abuse or not.
For more information, please consult:
The real payoff from blogging for five years
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Brian Feinblum’s views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are his alone and not that of his employer. You can follow him on Twitter @theprexpert and email him at email@example.com. He feels more important when discussed in the third-person. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog © 2016