Walking
at the Speed of Light:
Reflections
for Following Jesus in Grief and Joy
NEW
BOOK FROM MORGAN JAMES
1.
Cheryl, what inspired you to write your book?
I have written all my life, and
writing is a natural reaction for me to any special situation or change. My
reactions to my son Josh’s death needed expression. More important, after I
went through such extreme grief and depression and emerged to a life actually
enhanced by the situation, I wanted to share the experience and ideas about
healing with other people. After I retired as a public library director, I
returned to college at Lindenwood University to get my Masters Degree in Fine
Arts in Writing. I assumed I would be focusing almost entirely on poetry as I
always had, but instead I discovered classes on flash nonfiction and creative
nonfiction which used my poetic skills in a new genre. Those studies opened the
way to writing this book, approaching Josh’s story and ideas about grief and
healing in nonfiction with a poetic touch.
2.
What advice do you have for those grieving the
loss of a child?
First, people need to be kind to
themselves, honor the feelings they have, and seek help and healing from
sources around them rather than isolating themselves in their grief, which is
the first inclination. Second, they need to understand that grief is not in any
way “one size fits all.” In other words, everyone grieves in different ways for
different lengths of time and each of us needs to be nonjudgmental of the
feelings of others. Instead, we need to understand and be supportive. Although
people heal in different ways, I know that everyone can find answers and comfort
from Jesus’ words and comfort. They also can find solace in others’ stories;
the importance of stories is the reason that I included so many with my ideas
in the book.
3.
Tell us about your son. What type of person
was he?
Josh was a bright light in our family
from the time he was born, a wonderful son and his older brother’s best friend
and his sister’s adored “little brother.” He was our “gentle giant” -- 6’8”,
245 pounds, strong and formidable and yet loving and kind. He had myriad
friends including all of the farmers and ranchers he did mechanic work for and
assisted on horseback at branding and gathering times. Also, there wasn’t a kid
in Josh’s “orbit” who didn’t adore him.
Often, we adults would be indoors at a family gathering and look out the window
to see Josh entertaining all the nephews and nieces on the huge tire swing, on
the horses, or wherever. Add to all that a sense of mischief and a raucous
sense of humor, and you have an idea of who Josh was.
4.
I understand your son was an organ donor. How
many people did he help?
Six people received major organs,
but over 100 people benefited from body parts. For example, two people didn’t
have to have amputations because of his veins being implanted. People wrote of
their appreciation of such things as vertebrae that stopped their back pain. I
don’t think the public understands enough about what can happen when everything
from eye corneas to skin to bone and muscle from a healthy person are used to
people’s benefit. Most parts can go to anyone, but the heart, lungs and liver
are size specific, which means that very large men often wait interminably for
transplants of those organs. We have met the man who has his heart and
correspond with the man who has his lungs, and in both cases they are effusively grateful.
5.
What
role does faith play in your life today?
When I titled my book “Walking at
the Speed of Light,” I seriously meant that I focus on walking with Jesus, the
Light of the World, every day. I was raised attending church and Sunday School
and encouraged by my parents to develop a strong faith which was augmented by
being part of Campus Ministry and Christian Ministry in the National Parks. But
my experience after Josh’s death increased my faith even more once I understood
so clearly that the only solution to darkness is light and the only totally
reliable Light comes from Jesus. I live a varied and busy life, but I make it a
point to spend some time in prayer and reflection every day. I see faith and
growth in faith as essential to coping with all parts of life.
6.
How was your faith challenged at the time of
his death?
When my high school students faced
setbacks academically or socially, I always told them it wasn’t “set in stone.”
The day I paid for my son’s tombstone, I realized that this time it actually
was set in stone, and the darkness took over because of the finality of death.
Even though I believed that Josh was in Heaven, I felt so distanced from my
faith, as though it belonged to another time, another phase in my life as a
mother. I honestly feel that during my time of deepest depression, I had
decided that my faith would not provide answers or real comfort, and I
certainly could not provide it for myself. The despair was beyond description.
I even stopped responding to “mentors” like Norman Vincent Peale and Mother Teresa
until I was ready to let some light back in.
7.
What were the biggest challenges in putting
your book together and writing about something so close to your heart and soul?
First, I had to decide how much of
Josh’s story to tell and how to approach it, an area helped by my study of
flash nonfiction, which requires “parachuting” into the middle of the action. Then
I realized that this could not be a memoir because my experience was neither
unique nor earth-shaking and because the purpose had moved away from just
telling the story. Second, I learned to pray before I started writing each day
to achieve and maintain focus. A subject “close to heart and soul” can become
an invitation to scattered thoughts, repetition, judgments, preachiness, and
other manifestations of lack of focus, which plagued me for awhile. Finally,
one of my greatest challenges came after my completed manuscript was considered
by publishers’ representatives, who agreed that a book of “reflections” should
be composed of short chapters of 750 words.
Rewriting, especially of something
so personal, is not easy.
8.
Do you have any words of advice for those
seeking to write a book, especially about a deeply personal experience?
The first advice is total honesty.
That may be easy to say, but it is not easy to achieve. To be totally honest, people
have to really understand themselves and their experiences, something which
requires introspection, clarity, and patience. Second, a writer has to be
certain of wanting to share something deeply personal because once it’s “out
there,” no one can gather it back and hide it again. Finally, a book needs a
purpose, and that purpose needs to be determined and adhered to by the author.
Since the purpose of my book is to use parts of my journey to help others,
sharing Josh’s death and my despair and healing was integral to the writing. An
author needs to find that point and maintain focus, something not either easy
or painless.
For
more information, please consult: www.Cheryljheser.com
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