1. What inspired you
to write this book? The
enormity of the empty space that was left behind after my husband had
died. Although he had been ill for many months and we had time to prepare
for what was to come, I was not prepared for the loss of him. I
realized that the only person who can understand the nature of your loss is the
one who is no longer there. While recognizing the absurdity of what I was
doing, writing to him in those early months allowed me to express thoughts and
feelings which had nowhere else to go.
Never originally intended for publication, it
was sometime later, after I had met my current partner that I shared the
letters with him. It was his belief that they provide a rare portrayal of
grief, in stark contrast to objective books on grief written by well-meaning
experts. This was written from the inside at the time. As the writer,
just as any person immersed in grief, you do not know you are progressing but
read afterwards, they shine a light on how life beyond is possible.
The 2nd edition has been released
to give hope to others that while loss will remain a part of you, it does not
need to define the life you have left.
2. What exactly is it
about — and who is it written for? Anyone and everyone who is brave enough to tread alongside the
path of bereavement. Although primarily about loss, the letters are
essentially love letters, which reflect the nature of an unusual but
extraordinarily successful love affair; of the growth that occurred within it
and the readjustment that has to take place when the other half is no longer
there.
3. What do you hope
readers will get out of reading your book? Although grief is the other face of love, love
endures and continues to grow in other ways when you are able to let go.
4. How did you decide on your
book’s title and cover design? The title was easy. It was the refrain that ran through my
head every day after he had died. I wanted the cover to reflect our joint love
of the sea and open landscapes; of a horizon that we cannot see beyond, but
which does not mean simply because we cannot see, touch or hear it, it does not
exist.
5. What advice or words of
wisdom do you have for fellow writers – other than run!? Listen to the voice inside your head.
Whether you recognize it or not, it is has a story to tell.
6. What trends in the book world
do you see -- and where do you think the book publishing industry is
heading? I fear for the book
publishing industry and authors as technology increasingly is able to replicate
and rearrange facts at a speed which already exceeds ours. A hunger for visual
and interactive media can make the process of becoming immersed in a book appear
dull and onerous in comparison. Authors and publishers need to maintain
focus on the human condition; enabling readers to imagine and interpret content
in their own way; to invite the reader to shape the narrative to their own
needs and level of understanding.
7. Were there experiences in
your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this
book? Yes and no. I
had authored eight books in my professional field of the relationship between
physical development, learning and emotional regulation. These are
factual books written with attention to scientific detail. I therefore
had experience of writing and being published but in a very different
genre. Only occasionally did they include content of a personal nature. The
decision to release Because you were there was not an easy one.
Not even my children had – or to my knowledge still have - read it.
Initially, it was published under a pseudonym to separate the highly personal
content from my professional life. After I retired and with the encouragement
of one of the reviewers, I felt it was time to “own” the content. My
previous career was not helpful in making this decision!
8. How would you describe your
writing style? Which writers or books is your writing similar to? I don’t know. Perhaps future readers can
tell me.
9. What challenges did you
overcome in the writing of this book? Whether to submit for publication.
10. If people can buy or read one
book this week or month, why should it be yours? To be willing to immerse themselves in an
emotional reality.
About The Author: More than twelve years after the death of her husband, Sally Blythe, a psychologist, who had spent more than twenty-five years working alongside her late husband has released a new edition of letters written to him in the nine months after his death. It reflects on what grief changes, what remains, and how life slowly asks us to go on living. This second edition is both personal and reflective: a reclaiming of identity, a revisiting of loss, and an offering to others who may be living with bereavement, loneliness or the long work of recovery. For more information, please see: https://www.sallygoddardblythe.co.uk/because-you-were-there
Marketing Help?
Brian
Feinblum can be reached at brianfeinblum@gmail.com He is available to help authors like you to promote
your story, sell your book, and grow your brand. He has over 30 years of
experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him
be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!
About Brian Feinblum
This award-winning blog has generated over
10, 000,000 page views. With over 5,700+ posts over the past 15 years, it was
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and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” Copyright 2026.
For
the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He
formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the
head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the
director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many
first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with
best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen,
Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard,
Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C.
Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.
His
writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s
The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully) and (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/10-things-my-dog-taught-me-about-marketing-books). He was recently interviewed by the IBPA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0BhO9m8jbs
He
hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and
has spoken at ASJA, three times at BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers
Association, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod
Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, five
times at Morgan James Publishing Red Carpet, and Connecticut Authors and
Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.
His
letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal,
USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester)
and The Washington Post. His first published book was The
Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook. It
was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.
Born
and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids,
and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.
You
can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/ or https://www.facebook.com/brian.feinblum
