Do Self-Help Books Need Help?

Overcoming adversity. 

So many books, movies, and plays are about how one overcomes a major loss, setback, or wound. From Holocaust survivors and rape victims, to people who grew up in abusive homes and people who lost their homes, jobs, loved ones, or marriages due to addiction, scandal, natural disaster, or some other calamity, so many self-help books. That’s fine. We need stories of comebacks, resilience, and success from people who could have just as easily succumb to life’s pains and tragedies.  

But what of ordinary people just trying to find their passion, pleasure, and purpose in life, those individuals who did not get raised by broken or dysfunctional families, or suffer from a disability, poverty, or violence, or did not experience an ism prejudice (ethnic minority, religious outsider, immigrant,  LGBTQ+)? What happens for the ordinary vast majority that is not particularly defined by outside people or events? What motivates them? What self-help book will help them discover or get what they want?

I am wondering if the class of self-help books out there are written by or intended for “regular” people. So many of the authors have an origin story that clearly defined what happened to them, thus their advice is filtered through that lens.  If one does have life-defining events, is what they say always relatable to people who know nothing of that experience?

Now take it a step further. Can anyone really speak to everyone with their book? What really qualifies one to write a self-help book and why should we listen to them?

No singular book meets everyone’s needs. But some books, in their own way, can essentially convey the same ideas and advice as the other. But, the voice in which they are written or the origin story behind the author’s perspective may vary.

Most self-help books seem to take one of these approaches:  

** I did it, so can you — lost weight, got off an addiction, found love after broken relationships, survived physical or psychological abuse or loss, came back from a physical or mental trauma, experienced poverty, is a former convict.  

** My success story from nothing to something — how to get wealthy.  

** Common sense steps and sound advice, combined with rah-rah inspirational talk on how to live a balanced life, from the perspective of a therapist, consultant, coach, professor, or manager. 

The question is: Can one who succeeds at one area of life during a certain time and place be the right teacher for all aspects of it? Can one who does something well also have the right skill set of a coach, to help others model another?  

That said, the best self-help book is the one the reader is willing to read and is able to follow through on the advice to improve their life. The reader has to bring a certain mindset to the table, otherwise no piece of advice or bit of strategy will get acted upon.  

Maybe what is needed is a book that just focuses you on why you should change and that encourages you to do so, but saves the instructional tips for another book. No one cares about the how until they embrace the why and muster the courage, discipline, energy, and the time to make changes.  

The first great self-help tome that I read as a young man was the cult classic, bestselling book, Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins. Its teachings and inspirational advice still fuel me decades later. More recently, I enjoyed Unf*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop. In between I read some great ones by Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra, M. Scott Peck, and Adam Grant — and hundreds of others. 

Find what works for you. The key to self-help is to take that first step to helping yourself.  

 

Do You Need Book Marketing Help?

Brian Feinblum can be reached at brianfeinblum@gmail.com  He is available to help authors like you to promote your story, sell your book, and grow your brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator! 

 

About Brian Feinblum

This award-winning blog has generated over 6,200,000 page views. With 5,600+ posts over the past 15 years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs  by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.”  Copyright 2026.

 

For the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.

 

His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully) and (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/10-things-my-dog-taught-me-about-marketing-books). He was recently interviewed by the IBPA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0BhO9m8jbs

 

He hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and has spoken at ASJA, three times at BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers Association, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, five times at Morgan James Publishing Red Carpet, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.

 

His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook.  It was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.

 

Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.

 

You can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/ or https://www.facebook.com/brian.feinblum