2024 Paris Book Festival Winner
2024 Living Now Book Awards Winner
2024 International Book Awards Winner
2024 IndieReader Discovery Award Winner
2024 Book Excellence Award Winner
2024 Firebird Book Award Winner
2024 Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist
2024 Readers’ Favorite International Book Awards Finalist
2024 National Indie Excellence Awards Finalist
1. What inspired you
to write this book? I’ve always enjoyed memorializing family events. I wrote poems summing
up our annual summer reunions and special occasions. I designed memory books
marking momentous birthdays for all family members. I filmed “Ciao Celle,” a
documentary of my father’s visit to the birthplace of his father. “A Cup of Tea
on the Commode” represents my latest effort.
At first, I planned to document my caregiving journey only for my siblings.
Since I was privy to many special moments and entertaining conversations with
our mother, I didn’t want them to miss out. But during my journey, I had a
friend who was just beginning her own with her father. I shared some of the
tips and tricks I had learned from hospice, as well as a few of my own
caregiving tips and tricks. It helped her. So, I thought others might also
benefit from my unique experience. And voilà, A Cup of Tea on the Commode was
served.
2.
What exactly is it about? At 55, I gave up my
carefree bachelor life to become a first-time parent to a ninety-year-old,
sharp-tongued, guilt-tripping, stubborn as all get out, and yet funny lady who
could barely remember my name. My mother. It’s
rare for a son to take on 24/7 caregiving, but I jumped in with gusto to fill
Mom’s last years with love, laughter, and joy. Not always successful, but I
came pretty damn close. “A Cup of Tea on the Commode” chronicles my three-and-a-half-years of multi-tasking
adventures with Mom.
3. Who is it written for? I originally thought the primary audience would be fellow
baby boomers. But during a presentation to a group of local retirees, a lady
stood up and asked when it was coming out. She wanted her children to read it
so they could learn how she’d like to be cared for. That opened up a wider
audience. My story is universal, timely,
and timeless. Many will, sooner or later, confront the same issues I did. The
number of persons aged eighty years or over is projected to triple to 426
million in 2050. In the US alone, there are currently over fifty million
seniors eighty years or older. This is not a “How to,” but a “What I Did” book.
Readers will relate and perhaps learn some helpful tips. Both of my parents
were funny. Since humor played a large role in my upbringing and continues in
my writing, readers will also be entertained as there are many funny moments
throughout the book.
4. What do you hope readers will get out of reading your book? My hope is to inspire, educate, and entertain. So far, so good.
5. How did you decide on your book’s title and cover design? The parent/child role reversal may not have been unique to me, but how I dealt with it was. One day, hoping to make Genevieve’s time on the commode a tad more pleasant, I offered her a cup of her favorite beverage. It was a hit, and a cup of tea on the commode became a staple on the morning menu, and the clear choice for the title.
The script-style type was chosen for its intimacy. My mother’s favorite flowers were daisies, so I chose a yellow background with a faded daisy pattern. Mom’s vision at the start of the book is part of a bookend. She suffered from a bit of dementia and saw this parade of children quite often. My fictionized vision closes the book. Both are critical to the story. While working on the final drafts of the book, my sister sent me several black & white photos I had never seen before, including the one on the cover. It captured my mother at eight years old, wearing a frilly white dress, patent-leather shoes, and holding a flower, just like the girls in her vision. I believe Mom saw this often vision because it, perhaps, captured a happy time in her life.
6. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers – other than run!? We all have a story, at least one story, worth sharing. I have many stories. Whether they are worth sharing is the question. I hope so. And that hope is why I keep writing and I keep honing my craft. When you pour your heart and soul into a story, you never know if it will resonate with others. But if and when it does, there’s no better feeling. So, do it for yourself. Do it for your loved ones. Do it for others who just might enjoy what you have to say. Write.
7. What trends in the book world do you see -- and where do you think the book publishing industry is heading? Everyone is talking about AI. I’d rather focus on HI. Human Intelligence. Enough said on that. The publishing world is much like the Hollywood world I lived in for twenty-eight years. “No” is easy to say for those in power, but not easy for the rest of us to hear. Don’t accept it. I wanted to be a published author, though I have nothing against self-publishing. I was in my sixties. I was a new writer who didn’t possess any of the trendy, easy-sell qualities that guaranteed my first book would be a trendy, easy-sell success. But I continued to work my tail off honing my craft while continuing to contact publishers. Though I heard “No” many times, I eventually found two who wanted my book. Good writing and a unique voice will find a home. Then, of course, comes the marketing. That work begins way before the release of the book and continues well after.
8. Were there experiences
in your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this
book? I learned from first boss to always “write it
down.” During my three-and-a-half-year journey caring for Mom, I took lots of
notes, photos, and videos to help remember important details, conversations,
and what I learned from hospice nurses and nurse’s aides. My parents taught me
and my siblings how to care for others and the importance of doing the right
thing. I felt my mother deserved better. Stepping up for her was the right
thing to do. Also, my lifetime of experience in multitasking, human-centered
design, acting, writing, and entrepreneurship all came into play and paid big
dividends during my journey. But like any new parent, I also learned on the fly
and made some mistakes. When I gave my mom her first bubble bath in years, she
passed out in the tub! Great, I tried to do a good thing, and I killed my mom!
At least she smelled good! Lucky for me, she woke up thirty minutes later and
didn’t remember fainting but did remember the new bathroom. So for me, it was a
win/win. The book contains many more funny moments like this. But I must add
that whenever I start a new adventure, and I’ve started many, I always follow
my motto, “Find the joy.” If you look for it, you will find it. It makes the
ride so much more fun.
9. How would you describe
your writing style? Which writers or books is your writing similar to?
Readers have said my
writing is conversational, funny, like sitting down at the
kitchen table and sharing troubles with and old friend. I will always try
to find the humor in things, and especially in the darkest places. A retired English teacher wrote this, “This
author weaves his stories together, employing a wickedly humorous skill not
unlike that of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs.” I’ll take that any
day!
10. What challenges did you overcome in the writing of this book? My main obstacle was emotion kept getting in the way. I am a crybaby when it
comes to family. I needed emotional as well as physical distance to relive many
of the moments captured in “A Cup of Tea on the Commode.” But as I like to say,
I got over it and on with it because I had work to do. Also, since this was my
first book, I studied the craft of memoir writing before jumping in. I took
online courses from France. In fact, my memoir teacher was my first editor. They
say writing a memoir reveals a deeper understanding of yourself. This was my
way of processing my grief. I had little time to grieve during my journey. Only
after stepping back, was I able to process my experience and start my grieving.
One
wonderful revelation came during one of the many interviews I’ve done for the
book. As the story goes, it seems like a returned home to rescue my mother. And
in a sense, that is true. But in retrospect, I think it was my mom who rescued
me. I’ve had a pretty adventurous life. I had done many things, some good, some
not so good. But I hadn’t really done anything that important until my mother,
consciously or not, gave me this opportunity, and fortunately I was wise enough
to embrace it. And it was the best, most rewarding role I had ever played. Thanks
Mom.
11. If people can buy or read one book this week or month, why should it be
yours? “A Cup of Tea on the Commode” chronicles my multitasking adventures of caring
for Mom from a son’s perspective. They may learn something, but they definitely
will laugh out loud and cry out loud. Sorry for the crying part! And if they
buy my book and a lottery ticket, they just may win a million dollars.
About Mark Steven Porro: A New
Jersey native (Exit 163), he holds an Industrial Design degree from The Ohio
State University. After years of agency work, his love of acting led him to
Hollywood, where he appeared in dozens of television, film, and theatre
productions. Mark also spent his twenty-eight years in Hollywood,
entrepreneuring. He started five non-profit companies, but hold the applause.
None were intended to be. He now lives in the South of France, but hold your
pity. He of sound mind and body chose to suffer in the heart of wine country
where the locals insist his French isn't so bad—at least that's what he thinks
they're saying. Mark is an award-winning designer, writer, director, and now a
Best Selling and Award-Winning author. He has written lots of jokes, several
screenplays, and one award-winning short film. A
Cup of Tea on the Commode—a sad, sweet, and funny debut
memoir—chronicles his multitasking adventures of filling his mother's last
years with love, laughter, and joy. Though not always successful, he came pretty
damn close. And he survived to tell the tale. For more information, please see: https://acupofteaonthecommode.org.
Do You Need Book
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About Brian Feinblum
This award-winning blog has generated over
6,650,000 page views. With 5,600+ posts over the past 15 years, it was named
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and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” Copyright 2026.
For
the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He
formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the
head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the
director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many
first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with
best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen,
Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard,
Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C.
Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.
His
writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s
The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully) and (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/10-things-my-dog-taught-me-about-marketing-books). He was recently interviewed by the IBPA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0BhO9m8jbs
He
hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and
has spoken at ASJA, three times at BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers
Association, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod
Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, five
times at Morgan James Publishing Red Carpet, and Connecticut Authors and
Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.
His
letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal,
USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester)
and The Washington Post. His first published book was The
Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook. It
was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.
Born
and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids,
and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.
You
can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/ or https://www.facebook.com/brian.feinblum
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