Interview With Four Authors On Book About Male Friendship

 

1. What inspired you to write this book? We realized that a forty-year friendship among four men had become something unusual. At the same time, we were reading more and more about loneliness among men. We wanted to share our story, not because we have all the answers, but because our friendship might offer a hopeful example of what is possible. 

2. What exactly is it about, and who is it written for? The Wilderness of Friendship is about four men who met at Vanderbilt Divinity School in the 1980s and remained friends through marriage, fatherhood, careers, distance, loss, illness, and aging. It is especially written for men who want deeper, more meaningful friendships, but we think anyone interested in friendship and connection will find something in it. 

3. What do you hope readers will get out of reading your book? We hope readers will think about the friendships in their own lives and perhaps become more intentional about them. Friendship requires time, vulnerability, curiosity, humor, and the willingness to keep showing up. 

4. How did you decide on your book’s title and cover design? Wilderness has played an important role in our friendship because our annual gatherings often took us into mountains, rivers, and other wild places. But friendship can also be a kind of wilderness. There is no map, and you have to be willing to enter uncertain territory together. That idea became The Wilderness of Friendship. 

5. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers, other than run!? Write about what you know, but stay curious enough to discover that you may not know it as well as you think. Listen to good editors and trusted readers, be willing to revise, and keep your sense of humor.  

6. What trends in the book world do you see, and where do you think the book publishing industry is heading? We hope publishing continues to make room for a wider range of voices and experiences. Some of the most important reading we have done has challenged us to see the world through perspectives very different from our own. Books still have an extraordinary ability to do that.  

7. Were there experiences in your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this book? Absolutely. Among the four of us, our lives have included ministry, psychotherapy, teaching, journalism, philosophy, advocacy, marriage, fatherhood, illness, loss, and retirement. The book grew out of those experiences and the many conversations we have had about them over the years.  

8. How would you describe your writing style? Which writers or books is your writing similar to? Because there are four authors, the book has four distinct voices. The writing is personal and conversational, but it also draws on literature, theology, psychology, philosophy, poetry, and popular culture. Writers and thinkers who have influenced us include Wendell Berry, bell hooks, James Baldwin, Richard Rohr, and Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  

9. What challenges did you overcome in the writing of this book? Writing one book in four voices was probably the biggest challenge. We had different memories, perspectives, and writing styles. Rather than eliminate those differences, we tried to let them become part of the book.  

10. If people can buy or read one book this week or month, why should it be yours? Because loneliness, particularly among men, is a very real problem. Our book offers the story of four imperfect men who have kept choosing friendship for more than forty years. If it inspires someone to call an old friend, have a more honest conversation, or make friendship a greater priority, we will be very glad we wrote it.  

About The Authors:

Bill Friskics-Warren spent more than three decades advocating for unhoused people in Nashville and has written about Southern music for The New York Times since 2000.

Bill Harkins is an Episcopal priest, licensed marriage and family therapist, and former professor of pastoral theology and counseling at Columbia Theological Seminary.

Paul Shupe is a longtime United Church of Christ minister and theological educator who has spent four decades in ministry and mentored nearly 40 students preparing for ministry.

Bob Victorin-Vangerud is a former Lutheran pastor and retired philosophy and world religions professor who has taught in community colleges and Minnesota state prisons.  

For more information, click here: The Wilderness of Friendship

Marketing Help?

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About Brian Feinblum

This award-winning blog has generated over 10, 000,000 page views. With over 5,700+ posts over the past 15 years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2026, 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.”  Copyright 2026.

 

For the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.

 

His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully) and (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/10-things-my-dog-taught-me-about-marketing-books). He was recently interviewed by the IBPA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0BhO9m8jbs

 

He hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and has spoken at ASJA, three times at BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers Association, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, five times at Morgan James Publishing Red Carpet, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.

 

His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook.  It was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.

 

Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.

 

You can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/ or https://www.facebook.com/brian.feinblum