Friday, February 3, 2017
Do You Live The Writer’s Affair?
Each night and day I, and millions of others, are having sex with beautiful people. Yes, I confess to putting my hands on thousands of breasts, to pleasuring countless women, and to violating any number of laws, commitments, and ethical norms as I satisfy my base desires.
Well, a person can fantasize, can’t he?
Most of us do. Some of us write of these dreams. But can writing of – or reading such stories inspire one to live out such an idea?
I was reading a review about a revived play in an off-Broadway theater, written in 1933, about a struggling writer whose wife of eight years encourages him to sleep with their attractive friend. The notion of an open marriage is explored.
Sometimes we write about such things, to compensate for the circumstances that don’t permit us to explore them firsthand. We write them out of jealousy, out of a real desire to envision what it would be like to experience the ecstasy of consuming a forbidden other. Other times we write of such things to inspire others to follow their desires and curiosities, to allow them to entertain what could really make them happy. In this case, it was a confessional by the writer. His play reflected his actual lifestyle.
There are many things I think about doing but don’t do for any number of reasons. Probably the most common obsession for all of us – and my most frequently occurring one – is to partake in an unconventional sexual free-for-all. But what stops me is not just all the practical, ethical, even legal reasons, but rather it is that once I get to experience one of my fantasies, it will no longer get to be a fantasy. Some things are more pleasurable when they are denied to us.
If I’ve lived what I dream about, what’s left? I suppose a new fantasy would take its place. But then it becomes like an addiction. Getting drunk or high is not enough. Now I need to be blitzed higher and for longer. Soon I’ll go on long binges and the joy, excitement and newness of it will turn into something ugly and destructive. You want to eat some candy, but not the whole bag, and yet once you have a taste of the forbidden fruit you consume more and more, uncontrollably and recklessly.
I might see the play. It’s another way to live my fantasy, to be with others who also desire the same thing. To see it acted out may be as close as I get to living it, but I suspect witnessing it up close could bring me a step closer to realizing the fantasy. Maybe I should take my wife and have her feel awakened to the idea. For all I know, perhaps she wants to ask me to the play.
Writers have affairs of the mind and for now, not only is that the safer place, it may also be the best place to be.
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