Do You Need To Drop More F-Bombs?

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered why certain language offends us, while sometimes curse and swear words seem undeniably necessary to get a point across? A new book examines the psychology, law, and lifestyle associated with taboo words, raising many provocative points. For Fucks Sake: Why Swearing Is Shocking, Rude, & Fun, by Rebecca Roache, shows how by being able to cause offense by swearing is an important way of being accepted and respected as equals by others.

 

Roache, a philosophy lecturer in London, seems to enjoy pushing the leader into giving deeper thought to something people just seem to do – or avoid – without deep thought attached to it.

 

When we look at how swearing can be formally prohibited, censored, punished, or frowned upon, we come to see many contradictions. Swear words can be magical, hysterical, and quite appropriate in certain situations. “Sometimes, the author notes,” there is no better way to make the point you are making – emphasize, insult, or just plain offend – than to use a swear.”

 

Indeed. Swearing can lead to fighting, understanding, jail, lawsuits, laughter, resentment, agreement, and a variety of feelings and responses.

 

Below are some selected excerpts from the book:

1. Swearing's unique role in expressing emotion, and the unique way in which our brains process swearing, make it unsurprising that sometimes only a swear word will do. A common objection to swearing is that it is unnecessary; that we always have the alternative of finding a more decorous way of expressing ourselves. Aside from being an odd reason to object to swearing-how much of anything we say is necessary, really? —it is also mistaken. When we swear, we are not choosing one of many available, equally satisfactory expressions, as we do when we choose to say, Lovely weather, isn't it'? rather than 'Nice day, isn't it'? Swearing enables us to express what cannot be expressed using inoffensive words. As such, far from being unnecessary in such cases, swearing is absolutely necessary. As Mark Twain reportedly commented, 'The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

 

2. There's another sense, too, in which we sometimes talk of swearing being appropriate. This sense has to do with a recognition that swearing is sometimes the best way to express some-thing. Someone who, with dawning horror, exclaims 'Oh, fuck!' on arriving home to find their house ablaze might be thought to be swearing appropriately-because isn't this speaker likely to be experiencing exactly the sort of intense emotion that swearing is uniquely placed to express? Judging this sort of swearing to be appropriate has nothing to do with etiquette or other norms; rather, the thought is that the swearing is psychologically or linguistically appropriate.?

There are, then, various ways in which swearing can be appropriate, not all of which involve its being demanded by etiquette. This is a pretty intuitive, commonsensical point, and doesn't need much explanation. Things are more complex (and interesting) when we try to account for what makes the difference between inappropriate and not inappropriate swearing.

 

3. While the quick and harsh sound of swear words doesn't alone explain their offensiveness, it is certainly a factor in determining which words catch on and go through the offence escalation process to end up as swear words. This has to do with the way swear words are used. We've already noted that, often but not always, we use swear words to vent emotion, and that some sounds are more suited to this purpose than others. This point is not unique to the language we use: just as some sounds are more suited than others to enabling us to vent our anger, some general behaviors are more suited than others to this purpose. It is easier to vent anger, frustration, and other strong emotions if we can shout, frown, stand up, throw our arms about, and point an accusing finger than if we must whisper, smile, lie down, and gently cradle a sleeping kitten. We tend towards making quick, harsh sounds when expressing our anger for the same reasons that we tend to shout and point.

 

4. Body language, too, makes a difference to the offensiveness of swearing. Pairing swearing with aggressive body language-jabbing a finger at the person were speaking to, standing very close to them, shaking a fist, and so on— makes swearing a more serious matter. Our body language can reduce the offensiveness of what we say, too. This is something that's explicitly recognized in US law: the judgement in Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire includes the remark that, to count as 'fighting words, our provocative speech needs to be delivered without a disarming smile.

 

5. You might not agree with some of my conclusions; indeed, I'd be astonished if you were to find my entire argument-which is, in a nutshell, that the offensiveness of swearing isn't about the words at all— uncontroversial. My hope is that I might inspire you to reflect on these issues, discuss them with others, draw your own conclusions, and gain some insight into how and why you and others use and respond to swearing in the way that you do. But disentangling these issues is about more than merely satisfying intellectual curiosity. It has important practical implications too.Our attitudes and responses to swearing shape society and culture in ways that run deep—and this happens despite the difficulties in articulating exactly why we have these attitudes and responses in the first place. In fact, despite it being somewhat mysterious why swearing bothers us so much, inappropriate swearing tends to be dealt with confidently and firmly, And sometimes, this results in injustice.

 

6. Finally-at least, the final aggravating factor that we will consider in this incomplete list-repetition can increase the offensiveness of swearing. Perhaps this is because repeated swearing strikes us as more likely to be deliberate, and more likely to indicate that the swearer is working really hard to offend.

 

7. Who is doing the swearing can make a difference to its offensive-ness. If you're the sort of person who is (expected to be) a model of politeness and decorum, you have greater capacity to shock and offend by swearing.

 

8. What about swearing in front of other people's children? This, too, is viewed as objectionable, yet we are not responsible for parenting other people’s children.

 

 

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Brian Feinblum should be followed on www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2024. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully).  This award-winning blog has generated over 3.9 million pageviews. With 5,000+ posts over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and director of publicity positions at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and has spoken at ASJA, BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, Morgan James Publishing, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook.  It was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.