I
believe that confidence is a learned attribute, one that gets developed when
one is very young and built upon until the day you die. So, is someone at a
deficit if they don’t speak with confidence? Absolutely. Can they learn to be
confident? Most definitely. Is it easy? That’s up to you.
When do authors need to exhibit confidence? All of the time.
Authors have to convince:
* Themselves they can write,
publish, and promote a book successfully
* Literary agents to represent
them
* Publishers to do their book
* Editors to preserve their
original work
* Cover designers of their
vision for the book
* Bookstores to sell their
book
* Media outlets to interview
them
* Libraries to allow them to
speak
* Book awards to
recognize them
* Social media
consumers to buy into their content
* Consumers to purchase their book
Ok, so how does one act with confidence?
There are two ways to go about this:
Believe in yourself and your message and it will naturally show up in everything you say and do, in your voice and body language, even in your eyes. This is the purest form of confidence. So, do you believe your book is really good and worthy of another’s time, money, and attention? If yes, you will dig down inside of you to bring out how you really feel.
The other way is to fake it. Act as if — this means behave like a confident person even if you feel fear, insecurity, or inferiority deep down inside. Acting confidently and making believe you are someone that you are not is hard, but many people are good liars and actors.
What are the outward traits of confident people? They will:
* Smile and give off
good energy.
* Be energetic and
enthusiastically speak with passion.
* Talk while making eye
contact.
* Persist, push, and
persevere.
* Rely on a physical
feature to sell themselves — their looks, clothes, voice.
* Act with a goal in
mind and won’t waver from it.
* Reject rejection,
deflect criticism, and dismiss away shortcomings.
* Ask questions, listen
carefully, and use the information to further their interests.
* Not expect to be perfect nor put such pressure on themselves.
What will build up your confidence?
* Success and a track
record of wins
* Favorable feedback
* Not letting a setback
stop you
* Good mentors/coaches
* Smart therapists
* Winning at something,
even a video game
* Being around
positive, loving, and supportive people
* Telling someone to
fuck off
* Identify or assume
the weaknesses of the person you are talking to and show empathy
* Not being coddled and
bubble-wrapped
* Consuming empowering content
Realistically, if you are shy or have low esteem, the climb up is far and difficult, but the good news is you can improve. Even if you go from a zero to a three or a three to a five on a 1-10 scale of confidence, you are heading in the right direction and will grow upon a strong foundation.
Confidence, perhaps more than ability, is what gets you in a position to succeed. Confidence opens doors and your abilities determine what you do with these opportunities.
Make some shit happen
before things turn to shit.
Need PR Help?
Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning
blog, with 3.6 million page views, can be reached at brianfeinblum@gmail.com He is
available to help authors promote their story, sell their book, and grow their
brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of
authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!
About Brian
Feinblum
Brian Feinblum should be
followed on www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum. This is
copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2024. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now
resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue
dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The
Writer and IBPA’s The Independent. This
award-winning blog has generated over 3.8 million pageviews. With 4,900+ posts
over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by
BookBaby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018
as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by
www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” For the past three decades,
including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book
publicity firm, and director of publicity positions at two independent presses,
Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres,
right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark
Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay,
Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan
RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He
hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and
has spoken at ASJA, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence
College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association,
Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, Morgan James Publishing, and
Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have
been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY
Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington
Post. His first published book was The Florida homeowner, Condo, &
Co-Op Association Handbook. It was featured
in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.