Sunday, May 18, 2025

Interview With Author Tanya Mullins!

 

1.      What inspired you to write this book?  After the sudden death of my daughter, I found myself standing in my living room wondering how I would survive her death and concluding that I would not indeed survive it as I was. I would need to purge, to tell the story that was within me and hope to emerge a different person. One that would help me survive.  Writing stories and poetry is an inherited family curse, the need to write in all my family and passed to my own children. My daughter Aoife had often told me to ‘write the damn book mom’, so that's what I did. Each night when the house slept, I crept to the living room and wrote, never reading back, never editing, just purging.   I found the origins of my own darkness and came to accept myself ‘warts and all’.  I wrote as if no one would ever read the words, what emerged was grief in its undiluted form, raw, authentic and an honest account of human suffering in the early days of grief. 

 

2.      What exactly is it about – and who is it written for? The book is about 3 decades of my life, the birth of my youngest daughter with a terminal illness and her death, the effect it had on our family and my battle with every human who stood in my path. Mercy did not tamper my rage. Living in poverty and raising 4 children on my own I learned the skills I desperately needed in my school education. Unfortunately, 1980’s catholic school does not teach how to feed your children on very little money. 

 

I learned, I thrived, and I failed, over and over. The theme of surviving weaving in and out of our lives. I was a force, I wore an invisible cloak of ‘don't mess with me’, and it could be sensed in my every interaction. I was truly terrifying to deal with.  

Then came love, soft enduring love, it softened me and bought peace. When a second child died, I was crushed, sat on the brink of madness and sometimes toppling over.  

This book is for the person who is sitting by the fire in the middle of the night, thinking about ending their life, wondering how they can go on without their loved one. It is for the mother without her child, I hope this book finds you and gives you some comfort, some tools to get through the next few hours, maybe hope that you can survive and find peace again.  It is best served with a mug of hot sweet tea and a warm blanket.  

 

3.      What do you hope readers will get out of reading your book?  Hope? I hope you never experience the need to read the words of how to cope after the death of your child. I hope you never have the endless longing to find peace, I hope should it happen to you, and honesty why not you, that you find you are not alone. I hope you understand that there are generations of DNA in your body that has coped and survived, and you can too. If you want too.  I hope you live.  

 

4.      How did you decide on the books title and cover design?  When my youngest was born and named the midwife asked if I had a navy connection, all my children were named in order after the Irish navy vessels. Aoife, Emer, Ciara and Aisling. It was a complete fluke, unplanned.  It prompted a story I would tell them in times of great poverty of four ships that sailed around the world bringing toys and foods and jewels to all the children. It was an easy decision on the title.  The cover was designed by Julia Bowen, she came to visit one weekend and stayed. She is my daughter's partner, and they live happily in my attic. Julia is an art major and after reading the book was inspired to create the cover.  

 

5.      What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers – other then run!? Write like no one will ever read it. This way your authentic self-shines through. If its fiction your character will show their true selves without fear of others opinion or judgement.  Some books are labored in agony others born Slippy and healthy, crying to be read and loved. If you don't write it, how will you ever know! Send your work out into the world. There are no new stories, only your unique experience that breathes life into your work. Creating is a gift, use it, share it and I promise great things will happen. 

 

6.      Were there experiences in your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this book?  My desire to not settle for less and reaping the consequences when I often did. I cringe when I look back at my younger self, a top ten of failed relationships and bad decisions, but oh, I miss her sometimes. She was fiery, stunningly beautiful and full of life. She jumped into the rabbit hole, never looking for danger, loving the trill of life. She learned every lesson the hard way. She was funny and cruel with a cow's lick in the front of her long hair. She challenged every authority figure and had no qualms about walking away, never worried how she would pay next month's rent. Her self-confidence was made of bedrock, impenetrable. Then life knocked her down, again and again.   Trauma and catastrophic loss dulled her fire and streaked grey in her red hair.  Now at the age of 53 I look back at my younger self and I love her so. I became the women I always wanted her to be. She is me and I am her.  

 

7.      How would you describe your writing style? Which writers or books is your writing similar too?  As an Irish person Seamus Heany has a quality that resonates with me, I love Emily Dickinson, Patrick Kavanagh and most spoken word poetry. My early reading was my father's library of self-help books and spirituality.  My all-time favorite book is ‘The Stand’ by Steven King, my copy is old, and dog eared and has survived many moves. I would read my mother's Catherine Cookson books and the funny pages of the Sunday papers. I always loved words, how they weave a picture, what they teach. Books are my first love. I don't know which author my style is akin too. I write in the first person, honing in on the characters flaws. If I could sit opposite any of my characters I'm sure they would give me a wry look of disbelief of what I made them go through.  

 

8.      How do you feel your book compares to others in your genre? People experience grief in different ways, all that you read about it is true. Other writers tell their own unique story, what helped them, who helped them, we are all in the same boat recounting the same trauma. It is one of those losses that can't be compared.  My book deals with universal themes where our human experience dictates the ending. My ending is I know I will live a long life, I have too. Even when the dark night visits and tells me I've had enough. It is in me to live. I endure with moments of peace.  Maybe my book is different in how I talk about the lasting effect of trauma, there is no relief, only learning to live again as a different person. 

 

9.      What challenges did you overcome in the writing of this book? The short answer is my ego. I learnt to face my mistakes and decisions that effected my children's lives. I learnt to say sorry and mean it.   Without a doubt some coping methods we use in the early days of grief can take hold, I would shop online, smoke heavily and drink toxic amounts of coffee. This trio was detrimental to my pocket and my health. I guess I overcame those addictions.  In the daytime of writing the book my gaping mouth screamed at the heavens demanding her return and at every human being that asked me how I was. It should be noted that if you continue down this route you will end up sitting across from your local doctor being prescribed medication.  I take my medication every day, holistic therapy was not going to stop the madness from taking over. There is no shame is needing anti-depressants, just remember to take them every day. The therapies can help when the will to live is embedded again.  

 

10.  If people can buy or read one book this week or month, why should it be yours?  I am still amazed that anyone would want to put themselves through reading my book. It's not an easy read; it will challenge your emotions and any happy thoughts for quite a while after. The book is about raw grief, and you need a strong stomach to handle its contents. This is why I advise tea and a blanket if you do decide to read it.  I wish well reader and thank you for the opportunity. 

 

Author Bio: Tanya lives in a small town in County Kilkenny Ireland. As an Irish woman she is prone to lamenting the weather and the price of cup of coffee.  Tanya’s debut book was written during a dark night of the soul after her eldest daughter died suddenly.  With two dead children she decided to write down the stories she had told for decades and in doing so created a piece of work that became a gateway from grief to peace.  

Tanya lives with her trophy husband Brendan and their daughter Olivia; they are the guardians of the remains of her heart.  Please see this for more info: www.Tanyamullins.ampbk.com  

 

 

Do You Need Book Marketing & PR Help?

Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, with over four million page views, can be reached at brianfeinblum@gmail.com  He is available to help authors like you to promote your story, sell your book, and grow your brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!

 

About Brian Feinblum

This award-winning blog has generated over 4.4 million pageviews. With 5,300+ posts over the past 14 years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs  by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.”  Copyright 2025.

 

For the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.

 

His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully).

 

He hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and has spoken at ASJA, BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, Morgan James Publishing, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.

 

His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook.  It was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.

 

Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.

 

You can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.