Be Who You Are, A Song For
My Children
1. What
inspired you to write Be Who You Are, A
Song For My Children?
I was grabbed by the gut, by what turned out to be the
tip of a message, which expanded as I wrote.
The book started out as a song that took on a life of its
own. Each line grew into a separate topic. The lyric spun like a thread that
wove into the prose that unfolded into Be
Who You Are: A Song for My Children.
I wanted my three daughters to hold on to their
authenticity—to the unrepeatable sparkle in their eyes—no matter what. I thought the right words could protect them;
shelter them from the inner and outer storms of life. I didn’t want life suck the life out of them. And I wanted to
leave them something they could lean on, long after I’m gone.
But it wasn’t until reaching the end the book that I
fully understood what the book was about—what it really means to, Be Who You Are. That unexpected message
has unfolded into an unexpected life mission, one that I believe will cut
through confusion, worry and want, and help lead people to perfect happiness, no matter
what happens.
2.
Who
is your target reader?
I wrote Be Who You
Are, for my three college age daughters, as they were trying to figure out,
what they wanted, why they wanted it, and
the bottom line question of life—what’s
the point?
But even declaring a major, graduating from college, or landing
the perfect job, doesn’t mean these questions have been answered. They nudge us
through life, like a compass whispering the way, until the answers unfold, to anyone still open enough to
hear. The thirst for authenticity—for perfect happiness—is ageless.
So whether
you’re a multi-passionate Millennial determined to bypass the brainwashing and
stoke the sparkle in your eye, a forty-something who’s sick and tired of
limping through life, or a perfect success whose life is devoid of perfect
happiness, this book guides you, like only a loving Father can, home to who you
are—inside and out—no matter how what, no matter how far.
3. Why
should a reader choose your book out of so many competing titles?
Many
wonderful books tell us how to do what we love, find passion, lose weight,
think big, start small, get rich, get ripped and manifest any life we can imagine.
Be Who You Are also shows readers how
to blow through their fears and explode into their dreams. But unlike Be Who You Are, many self-help books miss the point. The underlying
assumption is flawed. When I achieve this or that, life will be great, and I’ll
be happy. Not true.
Happiness is not an external event.
Your inside life “is” life.
Most
self-help books push you half way there. Be
Who You Are pulls you all the way home.
4. You
mean achieving our dreams of wealth and fame, won’t make us happy?
Singer
John Mayer’s dreams came true, yet he lamented, “Something’s missing and I
don’t know what it is at all.” Comedian Jim Carrey says, “I wish people could
realize all of their dreams of wealth and fame so they could see that it’s not
where you’ll find your sense of completion.” After actor Matt Damon won an
Academy Award, he went back to his hotel room and threw it on the bed thinking,
“Glad I didn’t kill anybody for that.”
5. You
worked in the music industry with some amazing people. Please name drop and
tell us what you’ve learned from them?
Ha! Name
droppers get off on the “reflected glory” of being around famous people. I
wanted to spare my children from the delusions of fame and glamour, so I wrote
about it. Fame is a drug. People who need
to be famous for the sake of being famous are drug addicts.
I’ve
worked with people whose fame was a by-product of their artistry and
excellence. Wonderful! I’ve worked with people whose mega-fame created a lifetime
of suffering, confusion and craving fame like a crack addict. Not so wonderful.
Per your question, here’s an example of the former.
We were
recording an album with singer songwriter, Stephen Bishop at Capital Records in
LA. The CD was a Brazilian remake of some of his greatest hits, like On & On and Separate Lives, as well as brand new songs. Stephen called Eric
Clapton to come in and solo on his hit song, Save It For A Rainy Day.
Clapton
came in with humility and respect for the challenges of the music. He wanted to
make sure he got it right—took nothing for granted. Oscar Castro Neves—a guitarist
from Brazil was also there. Clapton the “guitar god” was asking Oscar for tips
and direction. Still learning. Still curious. Still passionate about the craft.
(not the fame) He had no ego whatsoever. At one point he wanted to try the solo
on a nylon string guitar, which we didn’t have. So, I popped into a session in
Studio B and asked the guitarist, if Eric Clapton could borrow his guitar. At first,
he didn’t believe me. Ha! And when the red light went on. Clapton’s solo soared
over those changes.
The
lesson: Always be a beginner. Forget the fame. Focus on your craft. Humility is
the recognition that we are only the channel; God, by whatever name God is
known, is the source. Humility opens up a tideway through which the current of
creativity can flow, flinging open the floodgates to unlimited possibilities.
Clinging to the ego—the rock of control—dams it shut. Try it! It works for
Clapton.
6. What
is important to keep in mind when writing a self-help/inspirational book?
Authenticity. You’ve got to feel it deeply. The
urge to teach what life has taught, is something that takes hold, and emerges,
naturally. You can’t write with marketing in mind. That comes later. You must know, verses knowing about, what you are saying. Knowing about, is an intellectual understanding of truth. Knowing, is being truth. The reader can
smell the difference.
7.
What
advice do you have for aspiring writers?
As a musician, I’ve been
immersed in writing songs, jingles, scores, music beds and anything else the
client of the moment asked for. What comes first—words or music? Answer—the phone call. But certain truths for
mastering the mechanics of writing—in order to free the soul of writing—are
universal. The most powerful and least glamourous tool of all . . . butt in chair.
Habit is a hammer that
builds virtuosity. Consistency activates a creative force in the
universe sending us
insights impossible to come up with sporadically, on our own. As Julia Cameron,
author of The Artist Way, says, “were not thinking something up, were taking
something down.” As I point out in my book, “world class dreams, require world class
routines. Your goals and dreams must match your habits and routines.” What’s
the difference between an artist and an amateur? According to Malcom Gladwell
author of Outliers, about 8000 hours.
Amateurs put in 2000 hours, by age 20, artists who’ve mastered their craft, put
in 10,000. Talent is not enough.
I’ve met aspiring authors
who do not read. If you want to be a better writer, be a better reader.
Read! Read! Read!
Creativity—at least the
non-contrived, unexpected, happy accidents kind of creativity—originates almost
entirely in the sub-conscious. You can program the sub-conscious with cable
news and video games, or inspiring books, that shake the soul and expand your
consciousness. Either way it’s going to come out in your writing.
8.
Where do you see the book industry heading?
Formats and distribution
may have changed, but the love of books and music, is bigger than ever. And
there’s more opportunity than ever for any author who takes responsibility for
marketing, and thinks differently. Here’s
the greatest marketing tool of all—one that will never change no not matter
what the future trends, formats and distribution may be.
Write A Great Book . . . ! One
written with the ink of your unrepeatable spiritual DNA.
Great marketing is
“attraction not promotion.” Once the marketing pump is primed—which it must
be—a great book attracts. A contrived book melds away into the white noise of
the market.
Record labels are like Book
Publishers. When an artist signs with a record label 99.9% of the marketing needs
to be generated by the artist (or in the book world, the author), or there
won’t be enough thrust to propel the book into the “attraction” phase. When it
comes to marketing, your resourcefulness is more important than your resources,
and resourcefulness should abound in anyone creative enough to write a book.
The chief value of a
Publisher, like the record labels of the past is distribution. An independent
author may be able to by-pass the publisher and deal directly with the distributor
and/or create private label deals directly with a brand or corporation. This is
what the “special markets” division at a record label does. They repurpose
their products with the corporation’s brand and sell them direct. They also use
the brands data base, to spread the word online. This in essence creates a new
marketing and distribution channel. Its an OPD strategy. (Other people’s data)
But unlike traditional distribution
deals that have “wheels,” (if no one buys books, they send them back) private
label deals are a one-way sale. And the sale funds the productions of the
books. In other words, if you get Corporation X to buy 50,000 books, and you
don’t pay for production until the order is closed.
This is just one of the
ways, to use your resourcefulness to sell books. Any other ideas?
9. Your
brother is being inducted into the National Radio Hall Of Fame this fall. How
did your family get so much talent?
I’ve been very blessed and
lucky, to grow up in a family that not only applauded creativity, but supported
each other in growing creatively. To this day, my family is my sounding board.
My brother Johnny, is one
of the most original, funny and hardest working radio personalities ever, which
is why the industry is inducting him into the National Radio Hall of fame, in
New York this fall. My brother Michael is one the best singer songwriters I
know. He’s been placing his music in TV & Movies forever. My brother Joey,
is an Emmy Award winning director/producer, and his wife Joan is not only an
Emmy Award winning TV host, she’s the author of two amazing books.
We help each other. We feed
off of each other. We commiserate the tough times and celebrate the good. We’ve
worked on various projects on and off in the past and will continue to do so in
the future. I trust their creative gut instincts probably more than anyone. I
urge everyone to find a team of confidants that can tell it like it is, and help
cheer you on with all of the above.
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Enjoy New 2018 Author Book Marketing & PR Toolkit -- 7th
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Brian
Feinblum’s insightful views, provocative opinions, and interesting ideas
expressed in this terrific blog are his alone and not that of his employer or
anyone else. You can – and should -- follow him on Twitter @theprexpert and
email him at brianfeinblum@gmail.com. He feels much more important when
discussed in the third-person. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©
2018. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester. His
writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s Independent.
This was named one of the best book marketing blogs by Book Baby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and recognized by Feedspot in 2018 as one of the
top book marketing blogs. Also named by WinningWriters.com as a "best
resource.” He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America
and participated in a PR panel at the Sarah Lawrence College Writers Institute
Conference.
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