Finally, A Novel Written By & For The Mature Woman That Encourages Older Women To Seek Out Unconventional Relationships & Passionate Bedroom Behavior Without Guilt Or Fear
Author Catherine Hiller is provocative and entertaining in her newest book, Cybill Unbound, about a middle-aged woman who discovers the joy of having a unique marriage. See her interview below:
- Catherine,
Cybil Unbound is your 10th book. Why do you feel it is
your best one? It’s best because it’s boldest, about a subject
rarely covered: the sexual adventures of an older woman. Its heroine, Cybill, is 42 when the book
begins and 72 when it ends, during the pandemic. People are often uncomfortable
with the idea that an older woman can be a sensual being, but Cybill is a
sexual adventurer, meeting men through business trips, literary parties,
environmental activism and a trip to Burning Man. For much of the book,
she lives with Quinn, whom she adores. The idea that one can be a loving
partner and still have passionate adventures with others, without guilt,
is also unconventional. Philosophically and stylistically, it’s my best
book. Cybill Unbound is more metaphoric than my other books, and
it’s also more intense. One chapter has 35 exclamation marks, probably
more than I’ve used in the past two years, and each one is necessary.
- What is
it about? Cybill Unbound is about the sexual and
emotional development of Cybill Berenson, mother of three, whose husband
leaves her for another woman. At 42, she isn’t sure men will still find
her attractive, but at a convention she meets Mel, something of a sexual
shaman, who gives her a sensual education. Later she meets Quinn, a
musician 15 years younger than she is. Quinn moves in after her youngest
child leaves for college. They are happy together, but Cybill sometimes
takes a lover.
- What
served as the inspiration for the telling of this story? I know women like this, and I haven’t read fiction about them. A
writer enjoys entering new territory. I hoped that to some, Cybill might
prove aspirational or inspirational, leading women to act on their
desires. Life is short; death will come; perhaps we should seize what
pleasures we can. An affair, while risky, can bring people great joy.
- How
much of you is reflected in the book? Cybill
is a more daring version of me. She shares some of my circumstances,
though I never had a daughter. Many chapters begin with something that
happened to me then veer off into something invented that’s more interesting.
For instance, I did meet “a fan from Alabama,” but we merely had lunch
together, and there was no bet, an invention I cherish. In many chapters,
Cybill has a comeuppance, but she’s never crushed. Her liaisons may not
always end well, but they provide her with the emotional excitement she
needs. She’s an intensity junkie, sensual, witty, resilient, and
attractive. Perhaps I share a couple of these attributes. When you write,
some things happen unconsciously. I always knew her name was Cybill but didn’t
realize for a long time that her name and “Cathy Hiller” share many of the
same letters. There’s some of me in Cybill, but she’s also her own person.
And vice versa. By the way, the actress Cybill Shepherd was quite a rogue
herself, as revealed in her memoir.
- Cybil
Unbound is a work of literary fiction, not quite your
traditional romance book nor is it erotica, but it presents a provocative
approach to relationships and marriage.
Please explain. The focus is
on love, but it’s certainly not a traditional romance, for which there are
strict rules. In Cybill Unbound, the heroine has serial lovers and
has her most passionate affair in her sixties. She’s not searching for
enduring love, for she has found it in Quinn. She simply wants more. (Women
Who Want More by Susan Shapiro Barash is a recent book exploring the
increasingly common phenomenon of women middle-aged and older having
affairs.) And my book is not erotica because it is rarely sexually
explicit. Here’s a kiss: “His mouth
always knew what her mouth wanted most: lip, tongue; pressure, softness;
dryness, wetness; rhythm, rest.” I prefer to let the reader imagine the
rest. One reader review reads: “Always titillating, never salacious.”
- You inspire women to live their
sexual revolution freely and unapologetically, to embrace utter enjoyment
in their lives as age and societal mores challenge their every step. This
is not 50 Shades of Grey or a Danielle Steele romance. Have you carved out
your own genre? Many literary writers write about sex. There doesn’t have to be a
new genre. D.H. Lawrence, Colette, John Updike, Phillip Roth and many
others have written books with erotic content and energy. The novel
thrives on conflict, and the conflict between desire and convention is a
constant. That’s why adultery is such a powerful theme.
- Why are
there few books like yours, written for women who are 50 and over and who
want their needs and desires depicted in novels? There’s a general timidity about sexual desire in older folks.
People think a grandmother can’t have a lover. They think if a man over 60
feels desire, he’s a “dirty old man.” But two women have told me that they
felt most profoundly and sexually in love when they were over 70. And I
know a man of 69 who is in a passionate clandestine romance. There’s a
certain poignance to the love affairs of old people because the
possibility of ill health and death hovers over them. On the other hand,
their affairs have less consequence, as they will not lead to children or
economic advancement as with young people.
- What
challenges did you overcome in writing your book? Writing Cybill, I had to overcome the fear of being
slut-shamed. I had to battle the feeling that people would judge me ill
for writing about a woman like Cybill. No matter what you tell them,
readers often assume that if a book seems autobiographical, everything in
the novel happened to the author.
If that were the case, I’d have written a memoir, but I wanted the
dramatic freedom of fiction, the license to invent.
- John Updike once said of your writing: “Good, brave, and joyful fiction.” What do most people like about your writings? They like the women in my books and identify with their emotional quests. I hope they also like my verve and wit. There’s a lot of humor in my books and I love hearing people laugh when I read from my latest book.
- What
relationship advice would you give a woman in her 20’s and 30’s? How about
her 50s and 60s? Wow, that’s two different worlds! Most young women want children,
so they are looking for a long-term partner who is loving and reliable.
They are considering every relationship as possibly life-changing because
who they marry is of great consequence. Practical and social
considerations enter into the equation. But a woman in her 50s has greater
freedom in whom she can love. In middle age, romance is less fraught, as
it needn’t lead to marriage nor necessarily “go anywhere.” There’s a
certain purity in loving someone just for how happy they make you right
now.
About The Book
Cybill Berenson, mother of
three, newly divorced at age 42, is sure the most passionate years of her life
are behind her. Then she meets Mel, a sexual shaman who takes her to new
heights—and new depths. After their liaison ends, she feels a new openness to
pleasure, and she sees that the conventional life is not for her. She falls in
love with Quinn, a much younger man; she travels to the Burning Man festival on
her own; she edits a book called Adultery Now (which outrages
her children);she takes lovers while in her fifties and sixties. Cybill never
stops seeking the thrill of deep connection to another human being. When a
lover calls her his soul-mate, Cybill realizes “it was for moments like this,
and not sex, that she had love affairs.” But what exactly is an affair? She
sends an email to a poet she last saw 50 years earlier, and although they never
meet in person, she feels a response as intense as any she has ever known. At
the start of the pandemic, Cybill, now 72, begins a new kind of affair.
For more information, please consult www.catherinehiller.net and her Substack, The Pleasure Principle: Savoring Life After Fifty.
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