The
art of getting what you want from another is something powerful. It is a skill
you’ll need to develop and call upon in life, especially when marketing
yourself and promoting a book.
It
all starts with a mindset. You have to think you deserve what you are asking
for. Sure you might be driven by a desperate need or an enterprising dream, but
the foundation for success lies in believing in yourself – your abilities to persuade
others and your belief that you are in the right, that people must hear
what you have to say.
If
you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.
If
you don’t like your message or offer, neither will anyone else.
Tune
out their side, their needs, their desires. If you weaken and have feelings for
their views, you lose. In your quiet
solitude you can reflect if you were right, best, good or justified, but when
you are in the heat of battle, think one-sided. Your side.
Of
course, the best negotiators, and dealmakers can’t ignore the other side. You
need to expect their argument, anticipate what they could say and imagine where
they are coming from. But don’t let that
create empathy towards them. Instead, compile this data and use it against
them.
First,
take note of your strongest points and offerings. Be ready to convey what you
offer and why it’s what they need. Now say it in fewer, more impactful words.
Second,
anticipate their opposition and be ready to shoot it down. Move past what they
sound strongest about and play up your strengths. You won’t always win on the
facts, but you’ll never lose if you play on their perceptions and preconceived
notions.
Third,
find their fear or pain point. What do they not want to happen? What do they
not want to risk? Play that up.
Fourth,
be convenient, easy to deal with, quick to serve, and always very polite and
friendly.
I
promote every day. I promote my services to clients. I promote clients to the
media. But I also promote myself to
family, friends, stories, and anyone I must navigate around or deal with.
Sometimes
I just like to lobby for sport or because I felt ignored or morally wronged. A case in point happened while on a recent vacation to South Florida.
My
hotel was two blocks from the beach so they contract with a vendor to supply
chairs and towels to guests while at the beach. Umbrellas and huts are
extra. I was with my wife and two kids.
We had to buy two chairs (two come with the room), and an umbrella. But they
ran out of towels and said they were coming shortly. They never came. They lied.
I
complained to my hotel who said they have no control over the vendor, blah blah
blah. I pushed a little longer. She gave
me a $25 credit towards food and drink at the hotel. Good. Not done yet.
The
next day I complained to the chair rental place. At first they said it was not
their fault, blah, blah, blah, and offered me no make-goods. I pushed to speak
to a manager. The worker claimed he wasn’t there. I asked her to call him. She
said she had customers to tend to. I reminded her I’m a customer. Eventually a colleague phoned the manager. He
showed up 30 minutes later.
I
ended up getting two free chairs and an umbrella, valued at $55. I felt better,
not because I got $80 worth of compensation, but just knowing that I showed my
kids that you need to always speak up (but not like a raving lunatic) – and to lobby
for yourself. Don’t ever take no for an answer. Don’t settle for the
first offer.
Okay,
so contacting the media is not quite the same situation as a consumer
complaint, but the idea is similar.
Advocate for yourself. Have a vision.
Believe you are in the right or have something good to offer. Don’t stop
until you hear YES!
DON”T MISS THESE!!!
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