1. What inspired you to write this book?
My
Mother Is Losing Her Memory And I am Losing My Mind: Parenting the Aging
Parent, came about first as a blog. My mother began
having memory problems which I wrote about. As my mother progressed through her
dementia, the blog soon became a four-year journey detailing the many problems
and decisions required as my mother’s condition worsened. During this time, I
received messages from people from all over the United States, and even from
other countries, who said they related to what I was going through and
appreciated what I was writing. I also had friends who read my blog and
encouraged me. It was then I decided to turn it into a book. I joined a
critique group from The Writer’s Guild and they gave me useful advice about
what I had written.
2.
What exactly is it about and who is
it written for?
The
book is about my mother’s experience with dementia, my efforts to help her and
the many decisions that need to be made.
It also shows my very independent mother and her resistance to our efforts. While most of
this resistance comes in the form of anger, some, unfortunately, results in
disaster. The resulting book is intended to help others understand more about
dementia and assure caregivers that they are not alone in this journey.
3.
What do you hope readers will get out of
reading your book?
I hope:
• they have
a greater understanding of the disease and its expression and appreciate
what it is like for a caregiver.
• they see how being responsible for someone
with dementia can impact your life.
• they understand that dealing with someone who
is losing their memory can be difficult, but they can get through it.
• they need not feel guilty if they need to
reach out for help, whether through a caretaker or assisted living facility.
• that sometimes you need to look at the humor
in the situation.
• they see how important it is to have Power of
Attorney and health directives before a person can’t easily make decisions (for
their elderly relative as well as themselves)
• they use my resources suggested and read my
blog
• they recommend my book to others or pass it
on to someone in need of the information.
4.
How did you decide on your book’s
title and cover design?
The book’s title was the same as my blog. I
choose it because it expressed how I felt.
I went online and found a professional book
cover designer. I sent her some ideas which she didn’t use. She came up with a
much better design which reflected my message in a more subtle way.
5.
What advice or words of wisdom do you have for
fellow writers – other than run!?
I would say, if you feel passionate about what
you are writing, don’t give up. It will take several edits. Find a critique
group or someone you trust (preferably, someone who reads a lot) to give you
feedback on your book. You may want to hire a professional editor.
6.
What trends in the book world do you see -- and
where do you think the book publishing industry is heading?
Self-publishing has been discovered and is
growing more every year. The big five publishing companies still require agents
and are very selective about who they choose to offer contracts to, so there
have become a plethora of ‘publishing companies’, some actually offering the
same resources as the main ones, others that basically just print the book, and
still others that charge fees for services to prepare the book for printing. I
think this is going to continue. Another essential component is marketing your
book. Many authors are excited to finally have their book published only to
find that just putting it on Amazon doesn’t bring in sales. Realizing this
need, book marketing companies have become even more important.
I also see another trend which will affect the
publishing world. Personally, I like to have a book in my hands to read, but
seeing how young people depend on their cell phones and I-pads, I think future
generations are going to mostly download and read.
7.
Were there experiences in your personal life
or career that came in handy when writing this book?
I always did well in school and writing
assignments weren’t a problem. In high school I was on the school newspaper
staff where I wrote a weekly column for Girls League. I majored in psychology
which helped me understand behaviors and the workings of the brain when
interacting with my mother. As a teacher, I learned to be organized and
prepared for lessons. I often did research on a subject to make lessons more
interesting. I continued to take courses after my Master’s degree in reading,
literature and social studies which required me to prepare and research
teaching units in those subjects. I took a class in blogging from a friend
which was seminal to the creation of my book. Finally, I have always been a
reader of books, which I think is important for any good writer.
8.
How would you describe your writing style?
Which writers or books is your writing similar to?
I’ve never thought about my writing in terms of
style, but I guess I could say it’s straight-forward with a touch of irony. I
portray scenes without a lot of embellishments. I am very aware of my
environment and notice changes or discrepancies in things, but I don’t know if
that comes out in my writing. If I had to pick an author, I could say Janet
Evanovich, but I don’t write mysteries. I also would like to think I could
write like David Sedaris when he writes about his family.
9.
What challenges did you overcome in the writing
of this book?
The main challenge was finding the time to
write and rewrite with the changes I made going through the editing process. I
did all the formatting, pagination and page headings, etc. myself and sent my
book to the printer print ready, which was a big challenge.
10.
If people can buy or read one book this week or
month, why should it be yours?
Dementia is something that everyone is aware
of, whether directly through the experience of a family member, or knowing
someone who has dementia or had to care for a spouse or parent who does. As we age and start to forget things, we
begin to worry if it is the beginnings of Alzheimers or another memory-based
dementia. My book provides a good picture of what dementia can be like as well
as gives resources and ways to assess for it, which can bring reassurance to
those who fear they are at the beginning stages of dementia when they can’t
remember a word or two when conversing, or seeks out a doctor who specializes
in elder care.
About The Author: Kathleen is a native
Californian, born and raised in Riverside, California. A teacher for 35 years, she has always loved
reading and writing and enjoyed teaching those subjects to her students.
Through the years she produced many anthologies of student work that she still
treasures. She holds a BA and MA and a Reading Specialist’s degree as well as a
certificate in Educational Therapy. It wasn’t until she retired that she was
able to do any writing herself. In addition to the book about her mother, she
has published three books of poetry and had writing published in anthologies.
She is a member of The Palm Springs Writers Guild, Delta Kappa Gamma teachers’ organization,
and member and current president of the Palm Springs branch of the National
Organization of Pen Women. She continues to host a website about dementia and
caregiving that offers help and resources to others, and has taught adult
classes in poetry. She has two children and four grandchildren and lives with
her husband in Palm Desert, California. Two resources for you: kathybjork.com for resources on dementia and kathyssite.com for
writings.
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