My 13th wedding anniversary is approaching in August – to my second wife. But I would have recently celebrated my 25th anniversary – to my first wife – if that had lasted that long. Here are 15 book marketing lesson that I could extract from my failed marriage.
1. What works once to get the media’s interest will eventually fail to get their attention. I once seemed entertaining to my wife – and then I didn’t.
2. Falling into a routine is only natural when you’re with someone, but that can lead to boredom. Mix up your message to the media and come at them with fresh angles.
3. Make sure your goals are aligned with that of your spouse – and the media – or you’ll no longer be a match for one another.
4. Be attractive to your spouse and the media. You want to get their attention and appear inviting and irresistible.
5. You need to talk your way into your spouse’s heart – and into the media’s heart. But once you come up short in saying something convincing or important, you get pushed to the side.
6. You can be judged by the dynamics of the relationships you bring to the table and the people you associate with. Your spouse will find you more interesting when you introduce new people into your lives and the media will find your story more inviting when other experts can be used to complete a story.
7. Just as a spouse can break your heart, so too can the media. Be prepared for rejection and seek ways around it.
8. Just as a spouse pays more attention to you when he or she thinks others are competing for your attention, so do the media. Convince them that you have something worthy of the media’s focus and that competing outlets may just scoop them if they don’t act now.
9. Lies can get out of hand and always catch up to a relationship. Same goes with the media. Never lie to them.
10. However, a little bullshit and grandiosity never hurt. Inflate things to a degree and you’ll win your spouse or the media over, but if the hype starts to exceed the deliverables, look out!
11. Presents are nice but they only get you so far. Whereas your spouse might enjoy jewelry or flowers and surprise treats, you can’t buy that person’s happiness. Same with the media. Don’t expect expensive product giveaways or gifts to sway the media.
12. Loyalty has its limits. I once thought I’d be with my wife always and forever. That got shortened to about 7 ½ years. The journalists that you build relationships with are important but they don’t last for long. Job changes and other factors may kill off a tie to a journalist.
13. Sometimes giving your all is not enough. A lover or the media simply may not find all that you offer to be inviting enough to work together.
14. You can go from “I love you” to “who are you” over time. It happens. The media – nor a spouse – will always stand by your side. They use you – and then lose you.
15. Stay on good terms, even when your life seems to be turned inside out. You never know when you’ll interact with your ex-spouse or a media outlet or journalist again.
I don’t regret my marriage – nor the divorce. It all made sense at the time these things happened and everyone moved on. Life is strange that way, but all relationships have taught me lessons. The media is like someone you date, even marry. You hope the relationship lasts – and grows – and sometimes they do. Most don't.
Good luck in all of your relationships, and may you find a way to win over the affections of the news media -- and a spouse.
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Brian Feinblum’s views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are his alone and not that of his employer. You can follow him on Twitter @theprexpert and email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He feels more important when discussed in the third-person. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog © 2015
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