Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Authors, Always Speak Your Mind


A friend texted me the other day that a joke I made was a bit crude.  

My wife told me today that a witty verbal exchange I had with someone actually made me look rude.  

And guys that I chat online with about politics daily told me my bold but confident predictions seem manic.  

Other people may hear such criticism, reflect on it, contemplate the veracity of these claims, and consider making some changes. Not me.   

Nor do they make me gun-shy about saying anything to anyone. I won’t change just because of a minor complaint or two.  

Why am I so stubborn?  

Because my approach leads to a net win — by far. I am willing to take some negative feedback if it means that most of the time my words are met with laughter, acceptance, and reward. I don’t live defensively, afraid to make a mistake. I like to speak my mind and speak up. No muzzling me!  

Be bold or go home. If you don’t ask, you don’t receive. If you don’t speak out, nothing changes. If you don’t say something a little controversial, risky, or seemingly impolite, you don’t stick out. Is your goal to be quiet and ignored? To act like everyone else and not get much for it? Or to be different, unique, passionate, challenging, and fun — and possibly benefit from it   

Now, that doesn’t give me license to be a jerk, purposely hurt one’s feelings, or to say things that are really offensive and uncalled for. But it means I would rather take a risk of falling flat on a joke than to keep silent and automatically ensure my insignificance. I would rather ask for the sale, a favor, a free thing, or a discount — and get turned down than to never speak up and guarantee a missed opportunity or even a loss.  

Yes, there is a war of words out there. Say something that people don’t like and you could get cancelled, beaten up, attacked online, or shunned. But eventually the sensitivity pendulum will sway back to wherever common sense, reason, and fairness lead it. Just be you — and don’t suffocate your thoughts.  

My approach to conversing is as follows 

* Be responsive to anyone who talks to you

* Take the initiative to start or lead a conversation

* Speak up and be outspoken

* Say it with confidence and conviction

* Dare to be funny and entertaining

* Be truthful but not hurtful

* Say what others think but dare not say

* Drip with sarcasm and wit

* Don’t be defensive — be on the offensive  

Hey, no doubt, someone will chide me for something I say tomorrow. But I will already have won in other conversations. I accept some losses to accompany a pile of wins rather than to be content with a perfectly blending-in-with-the-plants neutrality.  

Trust me — this is good advice. And if you don’t like it, remain calm as you swim in your fishbowl of boring mediocrity. Yawn.


Need Book Marketing Help?

Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, can be reached at  He is available to help authors promote their story, sell their book, and grow their brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!


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About Brian Feinblum

Brian Feinblum should be followed on LinkedIn. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2023. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent.  This award-winning blog has generated over 3.4 million pageviews. With 4,600+ posts over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by as a "best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and two jobs at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America, and has spoken at ASJA, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. He has been featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald. For more information, please consult:  



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