Interview With Author Authors Tom Collins, J.D., and Michele Molitor, CPCC, CCHt

 

1. What inspired you to write this book? The short answer would be we were both suffering perfectionists who’d each found some hopeful tools or pathways toward what we now call flawsomism. And we both knew, as we say in the Conclusion, that The Way of the Flawsomist could help others “find greater peace of mind and satisfaction in [their] day-to-day life.”  We were inspired by individuals like Olympic gymnasts Aly Raisman and Simone Biles and by our research into the Japanese art and philosophies of Kintsugi (“golden repair”).  

2. What exactly is it about — and who is it written for? The book starts by building the case that perfectionism is a toxic mindset that causes a wide range of physical and mental health problems, with supporting research. We dismiss the notion that there is any such thing as “positive perfectionism.”  We then review the contrasting science, showing that embracing the inevitable imperfections in ourselves, others, our work, and the world around us leads to a healthier, happier life. We also show that this does not mean abandoning excellence but understanding that the only way to grow, is to do your best today — knowing it won’t be perfect and taking joy from the effort, not the result — and then strive to do better next time. Living in that paradox of striving for excellence while embracing imperfection is the way of the flawsomist. The rest of the book discusses how and why to apply these learnings in specific contexts: the workplace, the self-imposed and socially-prescribed perfectionist pressures on women; parenting; aging; and the implications of AI.  So, as to who it’s written for, we hope it will benefit anyone who recognizes that perfectionism is negatively affecting them or the people in their lives.  

3. What do you hope readers will get out of reading your book? A clear understanding that perfectionism is toxic and that living in that paradox of embracing imperfection while working to improve is the antidote. There are also journal prompts at the end of each chapter to encourage readers to pause and reflect:

- How is toxic perfectionism showing up in their life?

- What’s the impact of it in different areas of their life?

- What might be some new flawsome perspectives to embrace instead to support their growth? 

4. How did you decide on your book’s title and cover design? Tom had started writing the book and had a working title of “perfectly flawsome.” In Michele’s work she often asks her clients to reframe their limiting beliefs using the “I am…” phrase in her work as an empowering statement of truth. So bringing them together as “I Am Perfectly Flawsome” seemed to be the perfect fit (and a great mantra as well)! The kintsugi bowl is beautiful and eye-catching and, of course, the golden repair captures our core message.  The subtitle encapsulates the paradox with the phrase “how embracing imperfection makes us better” carrying multiple nuances. We feel the overall design grabs attention and arouses curiosity, the essential goals of an effective book cover design.  

5. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers – other than run!? Wow, we could go on all day. If you want a shorter answer, in one word, write! Then, of course, you get into how to get from writing to a published book. Tom’s longer answers come in his blog posts, like The Indie Advantage that compares traditional, hybrid, and indie publishing and talks about the need for authors to take charge of marketing themselves and their books. And the full-length version in his previous book, The How to Write a Book Book, co-authored with his wife and partner, Yvonne DiVita. One big piece of advice is to have an accountability person or team, whether that comes from having a co-author, joining a writer’s group, or working with a developmental editor, designer, marketing professional. It’s vastly more difficult to do it alone. We both say all the time that this book may never have happened if Tom hadn’t asked Michele whether she’d like to co-author it with him and then brought in our developmental editor, Yvonne.  

6. Were there experiences in your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this book?  Oh, yes! And we recount several in the book. One example would be Tom’s experience in his lawyer days, of having to cover a vacationing partner’s hearing in an unfamiliar venue and feeling like a failure for flubbing a few of the specialized acronyms being thrown around the room, despite getting a favorable decision for the client. Another is Michele’s story of the negative impact of being bullied in her high-tech career that left her filled with self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and her self-imposed high expectations that led to burnout, and eventually to being laid off. 

7. How would you describe your writing style?  Hmm, conversational? We strive for a style that is friendly and accessible to readers. Reading what you’ve written aloud helps a lot and we often did so together on our weekly Zoom calls. We hope readers hear our “voices” in their heads as they’re reading. It also helps that Michele recorded the audio version of the book as well, so you literally will! 

8. What challenges did you overcome in the writing of this book? Ironically, a big one was lurking perfectionism. We spent more than a year working together on it, though Tom had been writing in an earlier draft off-and-on and we both had written a number of blog posts and articles that were reworked into the book. We kidded each other repeatedly about needing to “declare good enough” and “let the baby be born!” The obvious challenges of working as co-authors on opposite coasts were relatively easy to overcome by scheduling bi-weekly and then weekly meetings with our editor to go over our work in between and lay out the goals for the next meeting. Being responsible to each other to make the progress we’d promised was a huge factor in getting the book out, even when we weren’t always able to complete everything in a given week.  

9. If people can buy or read one book this week or month, why should it be yours? Our survey showed that 83% of adults feel pressure to be perfect. And we cover a lot of research showing the benefits of overcoming perfectionism to lead a healthier, happier life. And as one reviewer put it, “From Japanese philosophy to parenting to AI, this book is full of valuable ideas, important calls to action, and useful tips for eliminating perfectionism and adopting a new way of thinking.” Whether the toxic effects are showing up in your work, your self-talk, your relationships with others, or your overall outlook on the world, our book can help.

Author Bios

Tom Collins: Since retiring from practicing law, Tom’s been a serial entrepreneur helping others find their way in publishing, both online and print, currently as “Book Artisan” at Master Book Builders. His curiosity frequently takes him on research and writing journeys into the science behind topics like reading, happiness, and healthy aging – here, the benefits of embracing imperfection; i.e., he’s a practicing flawsomist. 

Michele Molitor, is a transformational coach and clinical hypnotherapist, and co-author of multiple books. For over 20 years, she has worked with high achieving professionals assisting them in reducing their fears and overwhelm to reclaim their self-confidence, calm, and clarity to create a thriving life and career. Please see: https://michelemolitor.com/i-am-perfectly-flawsome/

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About Brian Feinblum

This award-winning blog has generated over four million pageviews. With 5,000+ posts over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.”  Copyright 2025.

 

For the past three decades, Brian Feinblum has helped thousands of authors. He formed his own book publicity firm in 2020. Prior to that, for 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and as the director of publicity at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler.

 

His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent (https://pubspot.ibpa-online.org/article/whats-needed-to-promote-a-book-successfully).

 

He hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and has spoken at ASJA, BookCAMP, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, Morgan James Publishing, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. He served as a judge for the 2024 IBPA Book Awards.

 

His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, & Co-Op Association Handbook.  It was featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.

 

Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog.

 

You can connect with him at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum/ or https://www.facebook.com/brian.feinblum