I succeed because I fail.
Losing makes me try harder, smarter, and more often. A “no” is always getting me closer to a “yes.” I live for the yes and am willing to submit to as much rejection as is needed to get me there.
How many women did I ask out on a date before someone said yes? A ton.
How many did I date that became the one I wanted to marry and who wanted to marry me? From many to one.
I only needed to get my yes from the right person on two occasions — one to date, another to marry. All of the rejection in the process was worth it.
Whereas sports teams need to win the majority of their games to be successful, I can miss out on more than 95 percent of my opportunities and still be a huge success.
Let’s examine why what you offer does not yield a positive result. You will notice there can be dozens of reasons, from the obvious and logical, to the stupid and insane. It doesn’t matter if you feel they had a valid reason for rejection. You just need to adjust and retune what you say and do to win someone over with your offer.
Here are some reasons for rejection:
· Did they not hear me correctly?
· Were they in a rushed or bad mood?
· Did they not understand my example or analogy?
· Did they not believe in me or themselves?
· Did they lack trust in me?
· Did I not lay out the consequences of status quo, doing nothing, or using my competition?
· Did I not clear up their mistaken foundational beliefs?
· Did I not paint a vision of what success looks like?
· Did they feel there was not enough of a ROI?
· Did they not feel my confidence? Sincerity? Passion?
· Did they not understand my skill set, experiences, or knowledge?
· Did I not make it clear that I am what they need, even if they think they need something or someone else?
When seeking success by way of weathering failures, remember these four things:
Have Courage — It is a numbers game. Ask often and expect rejection most of the time. That is okay. You will get some yesses when racking up the no’s. The yes is all that matters. You pay no more of a price to hear a no than to not try at all, but by asking someone for something you gain a free lottery ticket that could yield value.
Go Big — A supersized offer has a higher chance of rejection, and that is fine. When you do get a yes, you will hit the jackpot.
Experiment — In order to find the right terms of offer that gets someone to say yes to whatever you are selling or asking for, be willing to experiment. Be open to changing anything and everything in order to get what you want or need.
Keep Your Mojo Up — Hearing rejection or being criticized or ignored takes a thick skin, but you just need to stay focused on your objective. Keep your eye on the prize and stay undeterred. You are on a mission. Dedicate your time, money, mindshare, and effort to obtain what you seek and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Never give up.
Remember, you can and will succeed, perhaps wildly, even when you fail the vast majority of times.
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Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, can be reached at email@example.com He is available to help authors promote their story, sell their book, and grow their brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres.
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About Brian Feinblum
Brian Feinblum should be followed on Twitter @theprexpert. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2022. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent. This blog, with over 4,000 posts over the past decade, was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and two jobs at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Susan RoAne, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America, and has spoken at ASJA, IBPA, Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. He has been featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald. For more information, please consult: linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum.