An Interview With Author Kelly A. Connor

 

 

1. Why did you write this book?

Ultimately, I felt it had to be said. Working directly with clients on four continents, I repeatedly noticed the main factor holding people back from healing, happiness and success was shame. Shame is an energy next to death. When I realized I’d found a way to work with people – from entry-level to C-Suite – that was healing shame and woundedness, I had to share it. I also had to expose how we individually and collectively are complicit in a shaming culture, which isn’t helping anyone. It’s actually harming. 

2. What is it about and who is it really for?

The Dulcinea Effect is a book of healing and hope that takes the reader into a deeper understanding of shame and how it manifests in people’s lives. Inspired by one of the greatest novels ever written, the book shows readers a new method of working with and loving people that literally heals shame – and can save lives. This is a book for everyone who is grappling with shame, self-sabotage, past or present trauma or abuse – and the people who love, coach or counsel them. 

3. What do you hope readers will get out of reading your book?

Almost every self-destructive or self-sabotaging act is a result of shame. My greatest hope is that people will understand the horrific and debilitating nature of shame better and learn how they may be playing a part in propagating shame. Then, with this new understanding, they will change how they deal with their own shame and the shame in others, actively committing to healing it. This will save lives, move us away from harm to harmony, and promote right relations. 

4. How did you decide on your book’s title and cover design?

The title was inspired by a relationship in one of the greatest novels of all time, Don Quixote, by Cervantes. As you may know, this relationship inspired the Broadway musical, Man of La Mancha. Don Quixote meets Aldonza, a whore mired in shame. Yet, he refuses to see or treat her as a whore. Instead, he tells her she is Dulcinea, a beautiful and pure woman of virtue and nobility. Through his unfailing commitment to seeing her as good and beautiful, seeing her light and potential, Aldonza eventually does, too. And that changes everything for her for the better. 

I started using a method that mirrored this relationship with my career coaching clients. Over time, I realized how potent it was with them and others. The method had an amazing effect that was healing at numerous levels both personally and professionally for people. It worked to elevate people struggling with all kinds of shame. I started calling the positive outcome “the Dulcinea Effect” and so it stuck.

The cover design was created in collaboration with Vanessa Mendozzi in London. I actually found her on Reedsy and felt a connection to her work and professionalism. So I hired her to do the cover and the interior typesetting. I wanted the design to honor Cervantes and Don Quixote, which was first published in 1605. The 17^th century message is timeless, powerful then and now. Vanessa designed many concepts for consideration. The chosen design incorporated 17^th century gold filigree on navy background with a serif font. The colors are considered trustworthy in marketing. To me the colors, font and overall design feel noble and honorable. The design also feels unique for a psychological self-help and healing book, which makes the book stand out. It was perfect and everything I wanted it to be. It also resonated most with my test audience. 

5. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers?

Don’t give up. Keep writing. It took me six years to finish and publish Dulcinea. And I will finish my first romance this year.

Write what you want to write. 

Don’t be afraid to self-publish. Don’t be afraid to pursue trad publishing either. There is also hybrid publishing, too. Research all options thoroughly and decide which path is best for you based on royalties, copyright/rights, time to market, control of design, control over content, and pricing. 

Don’t be afraid to switch genres when it’s time. 

6. What trends in the book world do you see -- and where do you think the book publishing industry is heading? 

The general feeling is that trad publishing will continue to slowly shrink due to several factors, including cost to print/market/advance, audiences with many more options, younger readers who care less about bestsellers than following certain writers or genres created by influencers, and mainstream media coverage/interviews becoming less important. While I agree with this, I think this is a very slow shrinking. 

However, I think there is an explosion of smaller publishers/hybrid publishers taking a bite of the market that will continue to grow. They will continue to build their relationships with booksellers, possibly working out better ways to handle the cost of returns. If this doesn’t happen, more writers will sell direct or create collaborative relationships to sell/fulfill direct orders. 

I feel that trad publishers will start to literally become more aggressive over time trying to land certain writers/certain books. Kind of like sports agents, you will see trad publishers hire agents to discover and recruit certain writers and books/series. I see trad publishers partnering with entertainment companies to create longer legs to bestsellers/bestselling series and or creating/expanding a big book brand into other marketing channels. This would be done to replace money lost as the trad publishing market slowly shrinks and more audiences find books through non-traditional publishers and marketing. 

With the rise of AI, I feel a writer’s personality will become more important to generating connection to readers. Building genuine, human relationships and collaborations will become more valuable and critical. Writers building audience through heightened involvement and participation in writing communities and developing conversations and relationship via a few chosen social media outlets will drive audience growth. Understanding that creating good content to engage a select audience will be more important than trying to reach for audience in too many directions. Never underestimate word of mouth. 

Personalization will fit the model I noted above, where human personalities become more valuable and lucrative. Not manufactured Hollywood type personalities, but writers who are real and people get to know and care about. People are starving for community now more than ever. And social media, video content, podcasts, personalized newsletters, and more will continue to allow people to connect directly. 

Audio books continue to become more popular (not my thing but people love them). 

Serialized books will also become more popular. People fall in love with characters and don’t want to let them go after just one book.

Professional video book trailer promos to generate attention and sales will become a lucrative market…just a feeling. (My son is an actor who did one in NYC not too long ago and it was very cool.) 

There is a push to create DEI focused books in the marketplace. I do not think this trend will generate significant sales over time. However, I do think the gay romance market will go more mainstream and grow significantly (Hallmark is including gay couples in most new movies now, too). 

7. Were there experiences in your personal life or career that came in handy when writing this book? 

Yes. I’ve spent my entire career to date trying to help people. I spent a large part of it as a public relations (PR) professional in NYC supporting multimillion dollar clients and brands. I became a master strategist with a forte in crisis communications, media relations and media training spokespeople. Approximately 70 percent of PR is writing and 100 percent is about communicating clearly and powerfully. I brought that expertise and my perspective as a PR expert to this book. The balance of my career was spent as an Executive Career Coach helping people to get jobs, achieve goals, heal and grow. Consider this book a powerful, passionate and loving public awareness campaign. 

8. How would you describe your writing style? Which writers or books is your writing similar to?

My writing style is honest and passionate. I’ve written the book so that anyone can understand it. It’s a conversation between me and the reader. The book is filled with stories and examples that allow us to see clearly the harmful essence of shame and how each one of us can truly change another person’s life by using the Dulcinea Effect. 

The writers I’m similar to are Brene Brown, Elizabeth Lesser, and Max Lucado, although I’m probably a bit more passionate. Similar books would be Daring Greatly, Broken Open, and Traveling Light, with the bravado of Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***. 

9. What challenges did you overcome in the writing of this book?

Strangely enough, the biggest challenge I overcame was shame. I knew that, without sharing the source of my own shame, I couldn’t inspire others to have the courage to work to overcome their own. That’s why it took me six years to finish writing the book and take it to publication. Overcoming shame is no picnic. But I’ve spent my entire career helping others. So, again, it had to be said. 

10. If people can buy or read one book this week or month, why should it be yours?

Many books claim you will be a better person after reading them. The Dulcinea Effect; A Book About Shame & How to Heal It and it’s simple, honest and straightforward teachings, if applied, will make you a better person. Because you will learn how to change the world. Possibly, your own.  

Kelly A. Connor graduated magna cum laude from Rowan University with a BA in Communications. She then moved to Manhattan and worked for many years at worldwide agencies supporting multimillion dollar clients in the U.S. and Europe. After achieving that corner office with a view, she owned several businesses, including an executive and career coaching consultancy. She has traveled extensively, counselled clients on four continents, and taught numerous workshops in New York City and beyond. She continues to inspire and support others through her spiritually grounded writing and real-world expertise. She lives near Philadelphia, where she is mainly focused on writing and other creative projects. For more info, please connect here:  

https://www.linkedin.com/in/thekellyconnor/

https://www.facebook.com/kellyconnorofficial/

www.instagram.com/thekellyconnor 

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About Brian Feinblum

Brian Feinblum should be followed on Twitter @theprexpert. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2023. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent.  This award-winning blog has generated over 3.3 million pageviews. With 4,400+ posts over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and two jobs at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America, and has spoken at ASJA, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. He has been featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald. For more information, please consult: www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum.