How Writers Can Be Smooth Talkers

 

 

Writers are not always the best conversationalists. They can be shy, reserved, or just nutty. They can create worlds in their minds, but can be challenged to speak face-to-face with another person. Writing is purely a one-way journey that one dictates to another, where talking is a two-way, give-and-take highway where anything can happen: 

So, how can authors become better communicators when:

 

• Networking?
• Talking to a potential reader?
• Speaking to the news media?
• Conversing with a librarian, bookstore owner, or a publisher? 

To be a better talker, one must take a few factors into consideration, including:

• The setting or circumstances of the conversation.
• The expectations/goals/needs of those involved in the discussion
• The background, culture, and education of the speakers 

Building up your conversational skills, especially in a post-pandemic world after two or three years of isolation and awkward social settings (zoom, masked, distanced) takes some work. But all of that aside, and whether you are introverted or extroverted, let’s look at what makes for a better exchange between you and another.  

Here are 12 tips to jumpstart a good conversation:

 

• Find common ground-either in your experiences, ideas, concerns, views, needs, or desires -- or in the world around you.
• Be a strong listener -- don’t intercept, let them be a star, and show interest in what they say.
• Ask lots of questions and let your curiosity drive this. 
• Give sincere compliments. 
• Avoid the potholes of conversation- - politics, religion, sex.
• Remember why you are talking -- and direct the conversation to help you get what you are looking for.
• Always exchange business cards or social media handles.
• See who or what else they know that can help you.
• Watch your language, from curse words to jargon to words that may not match the setting; beware of the PC police -- you don’t have to broadcast what you think about everything, but you don’t have to fake being something you are not.
• Don’t confuse friendly with flirting or business with pleasure.
• Avoid correcting people, giving unsolicited advice, finishing people’s sentences, telling personal stories that may offend, or hijack the discussion to be a one-sided affair. 
• Be dressed for the part --feel confident and secure.  

Writers are usually much better at the craft or writing than they are at the art of talking, but that doesn’t mean they get a free pass to be mute or dysfunctional doofus dongs in a conversation. Try your best and enjoy a good conversation.

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Brian Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, can be reached at brianfeinblum@gmail.com  He is available to help authors promote their story, sell their book, and grow their brand. He has over 30 years of experience in successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your advocate, teacher, and motivator!

 

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About Brian Feinblum

Brian Feinblum should be followed on Twitter @theprexpert. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2023. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The Writer and IBPA’s The Independent.  This award-winning blog has generated over 3.3 million pageviews. With 4,400+ posts over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by BookBaby  http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs  and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by www.WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” For the past three decades, including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book publicity firm, and two jobs at two independent presses, Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres, right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He recently hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America, and has spoken at ASJA, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association, Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, and Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington Post. He has been featured in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald. For more information, please consult: www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum.