1.
What really inspired you to write your book, to force you from taking an idea
or experience and conveying it into a book?
I
was teaching life skills classes at a local organization that helped single
women get back on their feet after facing difficult situations. I found that I
could personally relate to these women, as I was a young, single mother of two
who had been in an abusive relationship (as well as childhood trauma, emotional
and sexual abuse). My class How to Heal After Abuse went from just one
hour-and-a-half class to eight sessions of the same length, and I still
couldn’t convey all the information I wanted to share.
After
teaching these classes for a few years, I found myself starting the process of
writing Finding Your Voice. To be honest, in the
beginning, I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I wanted to share what I had
learned over the past thirty years of healing so that other survivors could put
the pieces of their lives back together and learn how to live a healthier and
happier life after surviving abuse.
I
also wanted to provide a healing tool that could be accessible to anyone, no
matter where they lived or their economic situation. As a young single mom who
was broke and felt alone, I wish I would have had a book like Finding
Your Voice to help me through the recovery process.
2.
What is it about and whom do you believe is your targeted reader?
Finding
Your Voice
is a personal, comprehensive guide for any survivor of abuse making the journey
toward healing. However, I also wrote it for anyone who has a friend or loved
one who has been abused and wants to learn more about the effects of abuse and
how to help them heal. I have personally walked the path of healing for more
than three decades, built upon the foundation of self-help work, therapy, and
reflection.
I
would say that it is part memoir, part blueprint for recovery. I use a mix of
personal anecdotes, accumulated knowledge, expert techniques, and common sense
to encourage other survivors as they move step-by-step to a place of recovery.
I
lead each survivor through The Five Stages of Healing, which
I have made into a tree metaphor.
1. Seedling:
this stage is all about stepping out of denial and getting help so the survivor
can change their perception and start healing.
2. Roots: this
step is all about improving the relationship each survivor has with themselves
and learning how to embrace the The Big 3 (unconditional self-acceptance,
self-love, and self-respect). This is all about starting to take back what we
have lost!
3. Trunk: this
step is learning how BAR (behaviors, actions, and reactions) can affect every
part of a survivor’s life. I help survivors recognize, manage, and utilize
their negative and positive coping skill so they can obtain more balance in
their lives.
4.
Branches: this step is all about self-discovery. I teach survivors how
to dig deep so they can discover what is important to them, which will enable
them to reach their dreams and desires.
5.
Blossoms/leaves: this final step is all about finding more happiness and
joy, which is all any of us wants. I help survivors learn how to let go of The
Happy Busters (guilt, shame, fear, worry, anxiety, and anger), which are
the most challenging obstacles to obtaining happiness.
I
also provide survivors with the key components of a healthy relationship:
· The importance of
unconditional acceptance, love, respect and trust
· Communication
· Healthy boundaries
Throughout
Finding Your Voice, you will find a mix of empathy, practicality
and encouragement for a successful path to recovery after experiencing abuse.
I
hope readers feel inspired, hopeful and acquire a desire to face their past
abuse, knowing they have the tools and ability to heal. Every single one of us
has the ability to change our lives for the better, find happiness, and heal
from the pain of our past trauma.
4. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers?
4. What advice or words of wisdom do you have for fellow writers?
If
you have a message you are passionate about and want to share, go for it! The following
is my best attempt at a “must-do” list for anyone wanting to get their story
out to the world:
1. Put your thoughts
down (on paper or a computer, whichever feels more natural to you) without
thinking too much or analyzing what you want to say. Don’t’ worry about
spelling or grammar when you first start writing, as it will interrupt your
flow. Leave that step for later.
2. Purge and organize
your thoughts.
3. Make it engaging
and relatable.
4. Simplify it.
5. Find and hire a great
editor (preferably one that can relate to your subject). Everyone needs help,
even the most season writers!
6. Re-write and
modify your work.
7. Find a
professional publisher.
8. Then let them do
their job!
If
you find yourself running into writer’s block, go back to step one and
refamiliarize yourself with your core message. Write stream-of-consciousness
until you reconnect with what you are really wanting to say, and carry on!
5.
What trends in the book world do you see and where do you think the book
publishing industry is heading?
The
book world is very different than when I was a young woman. We are moving from
dominant brick and mortar stores to the reign of the Amazon kingdom. With that
kingdom, e-books and audiobooks seem to have become more desirable than printed
works. I’m all for evolving with the times, but I personally still love a
traditional print book I can hold in my hand as I sit by a warm fire with a cup
of tea.
That
said, I feel like we are going to have more choices as the publishing world
expands and grows. Nowadays, almost anyone can share their story or words of
inspiration if they are willing to do the work and spend the money. I’m lucky I
found a great publisher, Made for Success Publishing, to help me bring
my book to life with the professionalism and support I was seeking.
6. What great challenges did you have in writing your book?
Being
a novice author as well as having dyslexia, I personally struggled to put my
thoughts into structured, cohesive sentences. My dyslexia is challenging
between my inability to spell and my less than extensive vocabulary! Siri and I
became great friends through my almost seven years of writing Finding
Your Voice.
I
also found it uncomfortable to be vulnerable enough to share my personal
challenges and not so flattering behaviors so I could teach others through my
own mistakes and misfortunes.
7. If people can only buy one book this month, why should it be yours?
7. If people can only buy one book this month, why should it be yours?
I
believe that Finding Your Voice offers a slightly different
approach than the average self-help book. I offer encouragement, compassion,
inspiration, and relatable personal stories about what it feels like to have
lived with abuse. I share what I learned and how I overcame the most
challenging parts of my own healing process in hopes of helping others do the
same. Finding Your Voice also provides guidance, tools,
techniques, and exercises that are more in alignment with typical self-help
book. You get the best of both worlds: encouragement and insight
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Brian Feinblum’s insightful views, provocative opinions,
and interesting ideas expressed in this terrific
blog are his alone and not that of his employer or anyone else. You can – and
should -- follow him on Twitter @theprexpert and email him
at brianfeinblum@gmail.com. He feels much more important when discussed in
the third-person. This is copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2020. Born and
raised in Brooklyn, he now resides in Westchester. His writings are often
featured in The Writer and IBPA’s Independent.
This was named one of the best book marketing blogs by Book Baby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and
recognized by Feedspot in 2018 as one of the top book marketing blogs. Also
named by WinningWriters.com as a "best resource.” He recently hosted
a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America.
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